The Wonder Years - There where moments that made us cry with laughter, and there were moments, like that one, of sorrow and wonder

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back in wonder. - quote from The Wonder Years

Nung fourth year high school ako sa province namin sa Pampanga may kababata ako na nagka-crush sa akin. Tawagin na lang natin siya sa bansag na BB (as in Beauty and Brains). Two years junior si BB sa akin. Fourth year ako, second year siya. Although napag-alaman kong crush niya ako, hindi ako nag take advantage. Bagamat maganda siya, matangkad, matalino, at malambing, she wasn’t really my crush at that time. Wala akong naramdaman na "puppy love" towards her. Isa pa di ako marunong manligaw noon. Tyope ako, natatameme kapag kaharap ay chicks. Kulang kasi sa exposure sa mga Eva. Exclusive boys kasi ang high school na pinapasukan ko noon.

Subalit dahil sa pagsusulsol ng mga kabarkada nakuha kong makipagkaibigan kay BB. Summer vacation noon. Araw-araw kada hapon magba-bike ako para pasyalan sa bahay niya si BB at makipag-kwentuhan. No topic in particular. But no sweet nothings either. Hindi nga ako marunong manligaw eh. Come to think of it now, siguro I bored her all those times. Siguro hinintay niya akong gumawa ng move na manligaw, but that never happened. Yet somehow, I felt that there was something between us. Something slightly more than just being barkada. Hindi nga lang malinaw. I enjoyed her company and always looked forward to seeing her every afternoon.To this day I still look back to that summer as one of my most memorable childhood days.

Natapos ang summer and I had to go to Manila to attend college. Naiwanan si BB sa Pampanga. Paminsan-minsan uuwi ako at bibisitahin pa rin si BB. Hanggang dumalang nang dumalang ang pag-uwi ko. Until one day, nalaman ko na lang na may boyfriend na pala si BB. Still, whenever I went back home, I tried to see her. Kaibigan naman kasi ang turing ko sa kanya. Kaibigan na parang barkada. Nothing really romantic.

But long distance friendships don’t prosper. Unti-unting nawalan kami ng contact sa isa’t isa. Una months lang. Tapos naging years na hindi na kami nagkita. I graduated college and she did too. It was a few years after college and I was already working in Manila when a common friend gave me BB’s phone number. I found out that she was working in one of the companies in Ortigas. I can’t remember the circumstances of our meeting. I think I called her and asked if I can meet her at her workplace. Pinuntahan ko siya sa Ortigas. Expect ko maging masaya ang kwentuhan namin at ang pagbalik-tanaw sa nakaraan. Kaya lang pagkita ko sa kanya may kasama siyang lalaki. Pinakilala niya ako sa kasama niya. Boyfriend niya at engaged na raw silang ikasal in a few months. Yun ang huling kita ko sa kanya. It lasted 5 minutes. Maybe 10 at the most. From then on, wala na akong naging balita tungkol kay BB.

All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone that makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us. - quote from The Wonder Years

Siguro kaya tawag nila “wonder years” because you wonder what might have been had you done something differently during those years. Hanggang ngayon iniisip ko, ano kaya kung niligawan ko siya noon at kami ang nagkatuluyan? Not that I want to change the past or the present. Only, sometimes I can’t help but wonder. Has anyone felt the same way? Ever wondered what if she/he was the one instead?

Dedicated to my childhood friend from St. Scholastica's Academy, Pampanga Batch '79