Pagiging Totoo - When it becomes an Excuse, not a Virtue

“Kapag galit ako sa isang tao, pinararamdam ko”, “Nagpapakatotoo lang ako”, “Hindi ako plastik”, “Totoo akong tao”. Madalas kong marining/mabasa ang mga pananalitang ito mula sa ibang blogger kapag sila’y may nakaka-samaan ng loob dito sa blogosphere. Para sa mga blogger na ganito ang pananaw walang masama kung murahin nila o magbitiw sila ng mga masakit na pananalita laban sa mga taong kagalit nila. Kaya daw nila yon ginagawa dahil “nagpapakatotoo” sila sa tunay nilang nararamdaman. Ang pagiging totoo ba’y sapat na dahilan upang makasakit ng kapwa?

Para sa akin, ang makasakit ka ng ibang tao kahit sa pamamagitan lamang ng pananalita ay hindi tama. Okay, maaring nauna siya. May nasabi siyang hindi kanais-nais na kinagalit mo. But you have choices. 1) restrain your anger or 2) retaliate. Unfortunately, some of us seem to equate choice number 2 to “pagpapakatotoo”. Without knowing it, “pagpapakatotoo” becomes an excuse for being rude and disrespectful. Justifying a wrong-doing by trying to appear virtuous.

If your definition of “pagpapakatotoo” (being genuine, not fake) is unrestrained expression of anger then I suggest a carefully look at your values. Perhaps, a few sessions in anger management may help too. Or, simply think of the times you’ve done something wrong that made your parents angry. I'm sure you'ld rather have them forgive you, than see them “nagpapakatotoo”, do you?

Anger can be restrained or vented freely. Free-will means you're free to do whatever you want. But if you choose to do something negative, you must be mature enough to admit to it and not rationalize the action using an excuse that you're doing it out of virtue. Better yet learn to control your anger and be civil to everyone including those who caused you anger in the first place.

You don't have to act fake, plastic or sarcastic towards people you detest. All it means is that you avoid being rude and disrespectful. Actually, it's not difficult. If you see a comment that annoyed you, don't reply immediately. Sleep on it first. The following day or days, when most of the anger would have dissipated and you're less emotional, any comment you write would then be more logical and constructive.

Peace and goodwill po sa inyong lahat. Susunod na Lunes, Pasko na.