mGa KuRo-KuRo Ni Ka UrO

Monday, March 07, 2005

If you can change one thing about your life, what will it be?

This is a typical beauty contest question. And the classic answer has always been "nothing, I will not change a thing". I’ve been thinking about these type of questions a lot lately. Don’t know why, but maybe it’s normal when you’re past 40 and entering mid-life. All I know is there’s no truth to the rumor that I plan to join a beauty contest.

My parents died early. My father was 43 when he met an accident and died in his workplace. I was 10 years old at the time. Because I was young, I have fond but few memories of my dad.

My mom died nine years later after Dad died. She was 48. Her death was a slow painful one for she died of bone cancer. She had chemotheraphy for a few months, but that didn't control the cancer. For weeks, she became bed-ridden and had to take pain-killers to alleviate the pain and she knew her time was coming.

Mom was a HERO in my life. When Dad died, Mom single-handedly took over the task of raising us, all five of us, two boys and three girls. She was too pre-occupied earning a living just so we could all go to good schools that she sacrificed her own happiness. She never remarried and instead she devoted her life fully to us, her children. She believed that the best legacy she could give us was good education. That is why during her last days on earth I could only imagine the agony she must be enduring, tormented by the knowledge that she was leaving four children, all in college, and one still in high school all by ourselves, and not knowing what will become of us. The emotional torture was perhaps as unbearable as the physical pain caused by cancer. My mom is the most unselfish and bravest person I've ever known.

A few years after Mom's death, my two elder sisters graduated BS Nursing and BS Commerce from UST. Me and my younger brother graduated BSCE from UP in Diliman. And our youngest finished BS Architecture from UST. I know that one of the proudest moments of parent’s life is to see his/her child climb the stage and accept a university degree. An event, Mom never had the chance to experience.

So if ever I can change one thing about my life, what will it be? It will be for Mom to still be alive today. For her to be in our presence so I can hug and thank her enough. I want her to feel proud of what we've become. I'll bestow her my university diploma and say that this piece of paper wouldn't have been possible without her. I want to let her know that her sacrifices, blood, sweat and tears were not in vain. Mom, thank you, I love you.


  • when i ponder on that question, i can't help but feel torn...

    of course, i wouldn't be the person i am now if not for all the things i had, i got, i was, i did before...

    then again, i can't help but think that if certain things were different... i just might be a better version of myself...

    and it feels kinda hypocritical to say that nothing needs room for improvement...

    for one can be content, i believe, even as he waits for certain things to improve...

    By Blogger Mec, at 2:28 PM, March 07, 2005  

  • We can not turn back the time. What we should always remember is that while we have the chance, live a good life ... serve your parents in small and big ways, love your wife and children..this way, you don't have to regret anything...what you did may not be enough..but what is important is you did your best....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:56 PM, March 26, 2005  

  • Agree 100% Mr/Ms Anonymous.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 12:14 PM, April 01, 2005  

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