"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent."

3^rd year college, 1^st sem sa UP College of Engineering ang worst sem ko scholostically. First my mom past away. I lost the only adult person left who could put restraint and direction in my life. Napabayaan ko nang husto ang aking studies nung sem na yon. Nightly, nag-iinuman kami ng mga ka-board mates, kaya puyat at parating may hang-over kinabukasan. Kadalasan tuloy absent sa first class ko sa umaga. Heto rin yung time na una akong nanligaw kay wisheart. At first time din akong ma-basted. Huhuhu. Emotionally, I was a mess.

Out of 6 subjects, apat lang ang naipasa ko. Yung dalawa ni-drop ko. Dun sa mga subjects na naipasa ko, dalawa pasang awa pa.

Kaya no surprise, na nung sumunod na sem at mag-request ako sa aking adviser na mag-overload ng subjects, ni-deny niya ang aking request. Gusto ko kasing maka-graduate ng maaga. Instead of 5 years, gusto ko 4.5 years lang matapos na ako. Pero sabi nung aking adviser, paano ko raw maipapasa ang pito/walong subjects kung apat na subjects lang hirap na ako? Hindi raw kaya ng aking limited brain cells ang makapasa sa UP. Marami pa siyang sinabi that humiliated me in front of my peers. Umalis na lang akong nakayuko. Walang naisagot sa sermon niya.

Ang lekat na matandang yon, pinahiya ako. But I controlled my temper and actually took everything he said as a challenge. Sabi ko sa sarili ko na I’ll have my revenge by proving that he’s mistaken in his assessment of my capability. Ipapamukha ko sa kanya na mali siya.

I didn’t give up. Nilapitan ko ang aming Dean at sa kanya ko pinapirma ang listahan ng subjects na kukunin ko. Pinirmahan naman niya, kaya nung second sem, hataw ako sa bigat ng load. Ganun pa man lahat ng subjects ko naipasa ko. Fourth year, hataw ulit at pasado na naman. Fifth year, after the first sem, I became one of maybe less than 10 students from the college of engineering to have graduated in less than 5 years.

Sometimes unlikely events happen in our lives that make us feel bad. Sometimes things don’t always turn out the way we wanted. Sometimes when other people humiliate us it’s easy to be bitter and angry. It is a test of one’s character, how one reacts to overcome a setback, a humiliation. Sulking or doing nothing, or worse doing something destructive is an acceptance of defeat. “There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.” ika nga ni Elie Wiesel, isang sikat na writer at nobel peace prize winner. To succed we need to transform losses into gains, defeats into victories. With guts, determination and a positive attitude it can be done.

Sabi naman ni T2Onit, na katulad kong trying hard maging writer:

“Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw minsan nasa....vulcanizing shop”
“Ang umaayaw ay hindi nagwawagi. Ang nagwawagi nagbabalato.”
“When God closes a door, He opens a window. But don’t use the fire exit.”

Hehe, have a good day!