mGa KuRo-KuRo Ni Ka UrO

Monday, April 10, 2006

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations - Edward De Bono

Dearest KU,

Mahigit 2 months na kami dito. Maswerte naman po kami at sa tulong ng mga relatives namin dito nakakuha agad kami ng mga trabaho kahit hindi related sa aming background. Okay lang naman, at least may kinikita pambayad ng bills at makakuha ng local experience. Pero lately, medyo depress kami, feeling disappointed siguro dahil mataas ang expectations namin. Parang gusto na nga namin bumalik na lang sa Pilipinas. Gusto ko sanang humingi sa inyo ng advice kung ano ang dapat namin gawin.

Mrs. Dazed and Confused


Dear Mrs. Dazed and Confused,

I can only guess that your disappointments are mainly caused by the fact that you and your husband haven’t found your ideal or preferred jobs yet. Yung mga trabaho niyo ngayon ibang iba sa dati ninyong mga work sa atin. Ang mga posisyon mababa sa ini-expect ninyo considering your previous education and work experience. Malamang bago kayo pumunta dito, nasa-isip ninyo na madali kayong makakakuha ng trabaho na katulad ng dati ninyong work. Sa dati ninyong work maaaring mataas na ang inyong mga posisyon. Maaaring managers na kayo o kundi man may mga tauhan na kayo na under sa inyo. May mga taong tumutingala na sa inyo at tumatawag sa inyong Boss, Sir o Mam. Hence mataas na rin expectations niyo.

That impression of easily finding a preferred job, na maguunahan ang mga employers to hire you, may have been perpetuated by your relatives here in order to convince you to migrate to NZ. Don’t blame them for giving you that slightly incorrect impression. Their only desire was for you to live close to them and because in their hearts they know you’ll have a better future here. Also if they ever gave you that impression, they are not totally wrong. For eventually you would find the job that you really want. It just takes a bit of time.

Nung grumadweyt kayo sa college at magsimulang mag-trabaho, mataas ba kaagad ang posisyon ninyo? Hindi di ba? You had to start from below and slowly go up. It took years to go up the ladder. The same here in NZ. All your prior work experiences and masteral degrees if not gained in NZ are not worth anything unless you’ve proven their value. You first have to gain the respect of NZ employers for them to trust your qualifications. You have to give them time, just as you give yourself time.

I remember when I first started here. I started as a junior programmer kahit naging manager na ako sa Pinas at may US work experience pa ako. But I didn’t mind kahit junior programmer lang ako. Lalo kong ginalingan. After a year, nakita ng employer ko ang aking kakayahaan and it was only then that my employer had a second look at my previous experiences and gave me a promotion. Nalaktawan ko ang mga nagmamagaling lamang.

Marami akong kilalang doctors, lawyers, CPAs, dentists, engineers, office managers who came here and initially got disillusioned because they couldn’t land the jobs they wanted. They ended up as taxi drivers, dental assistants, phlebotomists, accounting and office clerks, janitors, casino card dealers. Everyday they go to work, they're ordered by supervisors younger than them, have lower education than them (yung iba HS grad lang), have less experience than them. At times that could be humiliating.

Sa bahay naman, dati-rati sa Pinas may sasalubong na maid para kunin ang mga gamit mo sa kotche. Uupo ka na lang sa hapag kainan para kumain, tapos manonood ng TV at magpapahinga. Ngayon pag-uwi mo kailangan mo munang magluto, pagkatapos magluto at kumain, magligpit at maghugas ng pinagkainan. Habang nagpapahinga pinapaandar ang washing machine o dryer. Habang nanonood ng TV, namamalantsa. It’s a totally different lifestyle. Napapaisip ka if it is worth it. Minsan may mga napapaiyak because of self-pity.

Ano pwede nating gawin para hindi ma-disillusion o magkaroon ng self-pity?

The first thing you have to learn is to unlearn. You have to unlearn most of the things you’ve been accustomed to. You are in a new place, think of it as starting out from scratch. Kalimutan mo ang mga matataas na expectations mo because it’s a different ball game. The rules are different.

For example, if your profession is one that requires certification, it means you won’t be able to practice your profession here until you successfully sit a certification exam. The first challenge for you if you really are keen in practicing your profession is to pass that exam. There is no short cut to it. Period. You cannot expect NZ to adapt to your demands and way of thinking, you have to adapt to theirs. The sooner you realize this, the sooner and easier you’ll be able to adjust.

My last comment is with regards to self-pity. Here in NZ, there is no humiliation in doing house work. There is no stigma in being called under-the-saya. Mahirap ang magluto, maglaba, magsampay, mamlantsa, maglinis ng bahay at toilets. But if you think of them not as sacrifices but as a labor of love, then you can be proud of your achievements.


Have faith,
K U


27 Comments:

  • Tama ka Ka Uro, 100%. Yan talaga ang buhay sa abroad away from Philippines. Most of us undertook the same pathway, bugbog sa hirap, at binulsa muna and pride nung umpisa. Lahat yata ng mga immigrants e dinanas ang kakaiyak na mga drama at sacrifices.

    This afternoon, we were driving past the new immigrant's ghetto where we used to live when we first settled here in Montreal. Well, it's just as vibrant and full of hope for the new arrivals the same way as when we were there.

    I can't add too much to Ka Uro's observations cause he hit the bullseye.

    My words of encouragement, a lotto ticket wouldn't hurt but hard work and perseverance will bring prosperities and progressive lifestyle to you.

    Go with the flow, adopt, swing with the wind and Go Prosper

    By Blogger Air Milikay, at 1:04 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • very well said Ka Uro! ganyan din dito sa Canada.

    pero bakit ba gusto natin mag migrate? di ba for the future of our kids naman and not for ourselves. at least that's OUR main reason for migrating. so kahit na gaanong kahirap ang mag-umpisa ulit, mag-aral at kumuha ng certification, ginawa namin ito (ng asawa ko pala).

    By Blogger JO, at 2:24 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • bullseye ! pasok na pasok ! Personally, I don't mind laundry and ironing stuff. I actually enjoy it. :) Weird lang siguro ako.

    By Blogger Senorito<- Ako, at 5:04 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • KU, ganda ng sinulat mo. I hope mabasa ito ng lahat na nagpaplanong pumunta or on the way na or kakarating lang dyan. Tama talaga. We have to start from the bottom.
    As of now, inaayos ko pa rin yung lisensya ko para makapunta ako dyan. Pag naayos ko na yan, umpisa ulit ako sa pinakamababa na posisyon.
    Tanggap naman.

    Mabuhay ka KU!

    By Anonymous banjan, at 5:21 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • I totally agree Ka Uro! Minsan, ang expectations at pride ang nagiging balakid sa pansariling pag-unlad. In an ideal situation, napakaganda iyong ma-practice ang pinag-aralan mo. Pero kadalasan, walang "ideal", lalo na sa ibang bansa. Dapat matuto tayong makibagay, magtiyaga at magsikap kung gusto natin tumagal at magtagumpay sa ating pangingibang bayan.

    By Blogger Rhada, at 6:24 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • Hats off talaga ako sa iyo, Koyang KU. Integration and adaptation lang ang kailangan, kasi masipag at matiyaga na ang mga pinoy.
    What if kung sa ibang lugar pa naapadpad si Mrs. Dazed and Confused, eh tatlo pa ang gamit na language dito sa Switzerland, pagdating mo sa next city iba na ang lenguahe at mga signboard?

    By Blogger bigdaddi, at 9:41 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • i always believe that you can have a pupose in life even if its your job everyday to take charge of the household chores...self-esteem will always stay intact if that's what you always bear in mind....kumbaga 'tibay lang ng loob!'kaya correct ka dyan kuya!

    By Blogger ev, at 11:04 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • KU,

    Upon posting this reply, inaamin ko na minsan ay wala akong ka-alam-alam sa mga harsh realities na napapaharap sa ibang Pilipino na nakikipag-sapalaran sa ibang bansa.

    Hindi ko alam na ganiyan pala ang kinakaharap ng iba kapag umaalis at nagta-trabaho overseas.

    All I knew before is that the Philippines is in a brain drain situation, that doctors are going back to school to be nurses abroad, just because the pay is higher. Then I realize after reading your post that they go through all the training only to be clerks and janitors, in short, their ideal job isn't what they are working on.

    Well, once na umakyat kasi, mahirap bumaba. Kahit minsan ang sandaling pagbaba ay daan sa pagtaas sa hinaharap.

    Thanks for providing me a snippet of reality.

    LIW

    By Blogger Linguist-in-Waiting, at 11:49 PM, April 10, 2006  

  • Hi KU,

    na miss ko po magbasa ng blog nyo KU.=) Nyways, I agree sa lahat ng naisulat nyo. Like me... I expected too much nung nasa Pinas pa lang ako until sometime na dumating ako dito sa NZ. But then, reality bites! Hindi ganun kadali tulad ng nasa isip ko. Narealize ko na ang pinaka mahirap na makakatapat ko ay ang sarili ko. Kung papaano ko tatanggapin ang mga bagay na ni hindi man lang sumagi sa isipan ko...I'm doing part time cleaning job at night sometimes until 1AM. Nung unang gabi ko, naiyak talaga ako sa awa ko sa sarili. sabi ko... dumayo pa ako sa NZ para lang maglinis ng kubeta. I'm not happy about it but it made me felt proud na kinakaya ko. Umpisa pa lang ng laban... Bawal ang sumuko. I'm still looking for that dream job though. may the Lord GOD help us all!!!

    I hope sa next meet makapunta na po ako at makilala kayo.=)

    Mabuhay po kayo KU!=)
    -Jack

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:02 AM, April 11, 2006  

  • tunay na tunay po ang sinulat nyo...isa po me sa nkaka-experience nian sa ngayon dito sa nz. having a managerial position in a US based company in Phils and dito di me halos pansinin ng mga employers na inaaplayan ko. I even shared experience sa mga co-cpa's ko sa pinas na hirap tlg mkahanap ng work as accountant or lower acctg position kc dami namang kiwi na me qualified naman sa clerical accounting position so they prioritized na mga kiwi.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:07 AM, April 11, 2006  

  • KU senyang po pala ako

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:08 AM, April 11, 2006  

  • ku napadaan din musta na!

    :)salamat sa pagdaan at pangungumusta.okay naman me nag aaral me magluto sa ngayon tapos minsan lumalabas labas sa backyard para magtanim kahit na malamig pa ng kunti ang klema d2.

    God bless :)

    By Blogger LadyWhiteSpirit, at 5:02 AM, April 11, 2006  

  • Additional info about KU topic.

    http://www.backpack-newzealand.com/nz/article187-315.php&sid=b38dfe17ef6bf8075a7a1914fd0003f5

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:42 AM, April 11, 2006  

  • air milikay,
    salamat sa words of wisdom mo, kaibigan.

    jo,
    very good point about kids. hindi ko na-mention ito.

    senorito,
    enjoy ka pala sa laundry and ironing. halika pasyal ka sa amin para lalo kang mag enjoy. hahaha

    banjan,
    what i said here has already been said by others. in fact ikay yata yung nagsabi about "unlearning" nung nasa backpack pa tayo.


    rhada,
    oo nga dapat marunung tayong lumunok ng pride chicken.

    bigdaddi,
    koyang musta na ka? sabi nga nila mas mahirap nga raw diyan sa switzerland dahil sa language barrier. at least nga dito english lang ang kailangan. may mga kakilala akong andiyan sa switzerland at balak mag-migrate dito primarily because of the language requirements there. matanda na raw sila para mag-aral ulit ng ibang lenguahe.


    ev_elyn26,
    tibay ng loob, kailangan talaga yan.


    LIW,
    marami din naman nakakakuha ng ideal jobs nila. it just takes some time at kailangan talagang paghirapan. hindi basta-basta ibibigay. working as clerks and janitors, usually as a temporary measure lang naman habang nag-aaral at hinihintay makapasa sa exams.

    correct ka dun sa sinabi mo na mahirap bumaba kapag nasa taas na. pride kung minsan ang umiiral.


    jack,
    isa kang bayani at aking hinahangaan because you are a fighter and a survivor. saludo ako sa yo kaibigan.


    senyang,
    hirap talaga ang kalagayan ng mga CPAs dito. hindi ka makakakuha ng accounting job kung hindi ka muna mag-exam dito. mostly accounts clerk sa payables/receivables lang ang job na makukuha mo.


    LWS,
    nice to here from you again. ano na alam mong iluto?


    anonymous,
    thanks for that link. it's very appropriate especially yung mga sinabi ni JAP.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 9:19 AM, April 11, 2006  

  • KU,
    I'm new to your blogspot (hubby told me abt it) and so far have been enjoying every bit of it!!! I spent time reading some of your entries with my 12-year old daughter and she enjoyed it so much. Sayang di marunong magtagalog ang boys namin at siguradong maaaliw din. Anyway, Salamat po! Sa uulitin...
    This particular entry is really great. We are aspiring to go to NZ sometime in the next 2 years and this will definitely help, as with the rest of the sharings here...keeping fingers crossed kami na sana makashare din ng sariling experience dyan soon...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:25 PM, April 11, 2006  

  • ako rin dumating sa punto na naisipan kong umuwi na lang ng pinas kasi di ako makahanap ng trabaho dito sa amerika for 4months! pero sabi ng tatay ko ma pride kasi ako at totoo yun! pero nung lumaon, tinanggap ko na ang katotohanan na kelangan kong i swallow ang pride. ayun 1st job ko dito, cafe attendant sa isang historical landmark.

    By Blogger VemSan, at 12:49 PM, April 11, 2006  

  • Ang ganda ng pagkalahad mo!
    Sana maraming makabasa!
    Sana may matutunan sila!

    Madali lang naman ang lahat kung ang bawat kababayan natin na aalis ng bansa ay matutunan nila ang "Pakikisama at Pag-unawa ".

    Sana maisip nila na ang bansang pupuntahan ay isang mayaman at progressong bansa na mas pinahahalagahan ang mga "lokal" nila kesa "expat".

    Hindi komo manager o mataas ang katungkulan mo sa pinas, ay ganun din ang makukuha mo agad-agad. Wala sa experience sa pinas at sa posisyon yan.

    wala lang po.

    By Blogger Mmy-Lei, at 8:17 PM, April 11, 2006  

  • Kakalungkot naman KU itong liham na ito. Madami kasing disillusioned na Pinoy na nagmimigrate abroad. Karamihan dulot na rin ng mga balikbayan na kamag-anak na astang hari at reyna kapag umuwi. Akala tuloy nila, madali ang buhay sa abroad, bed of roses ika nga. Very enlightening! :)

    By Anonymous Patrice, at 1:54 AM, April 12, 2006  

  • ok KU. Bilib talaga ako sa iyo, Big Brother. Pasalamat na lamang si Eddie Ilarde at nandito ka sa NZ kung hindi anong panama sa iyo ni Napakasakit Kuya Eddie, may puso at di pang T.V. ang iyong mga advice , totoong tao ka!

    By Blogger atoy, at 8:44 AM, April 12, 2006  

  • Hi K U. You hit the nail on the head with your insightful article. What you said jibes with what our relatives in NZ have experienced. I guess kahit saan tayo mag-migrate,we will all have to make major adjustments.

    You are an inspiration to migrants, and your unselfish efforts are well-appreciated. More power, K U!

    Atty. John

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:56 PM, April 12, 2006  

  • Hi KU,
    Alam natin na for every change there are some pains and sacrifices, its because we are comfortable with what we are used to. Sa decision namin mag migrate hindi na namin inisip yung magiging comfort namin mag asawa kasi talagang mahirap mag umpisa from zero lalo na sa isang banyagang lugar. Inisip na lang namin ang future na lang ng mga bata na talagang namang priority nating mga magulang. Salamat Ka uro sa inspiring words mo. Eye oponer to para sa aming lahat na nagngangarap makarating ng NZ. God bless!

    Monna

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:42 PM, April 12, 2006  

  • donald- Mismo! hay naku KU, parang kinwento mo na rin kung pano ako nag umpsia dito sa NZ. talagang minsan nuon eh parang gusto kong sumuko pero awa ng dyos ito buhay pa. Ang importante ay meron na kaming Ethan

    By Blogger admin, at 5:25 AM, April 13, 2006  

  • i was just thinking yesterday na if ever i was in pinas, i surely had a yaya, na after work, hihilata na lang ako waiting for dinner to be served. hay buhay... but such is life.. pinili ko to, pangangatawanan ko..;)

    By Blogger Analyse, at 6:46 AM, April 13, 2006  

  • i was told by a co-employee that his brother got off to Europe just the other month. his brother was a division director of a govt agency but landed as a janitor. the job was only temporarym he said. he wants to earn so he grabbed it and he was joyously telling his brother that he's earning more.

    i think it is not wise to assume that one will be given a de luxe treatment abroad. if one is decided to do it, he should disillusion himself dito pa lang, and expect that things will be very different, a lot different.

    if one has qualms, then he should not go than be remorseful about the decision in the future.

    By Anonymous bing, at 11:20 PM, April 13, 2006  

  • Hi! tumpak ka ka. uro dapat anticipated at tanggap nyo lahat yong mga pagbabagong mangyayari sa inyo doon sa pupuntahan nyo gumbaga mag-esep-esep muna bago mag-migrate, nasa kama ka na lilipat ka pa ba sa papag hirap yata non. pero kong may job offer kayo sa pupuntahan nyo aba go ahead for sure maganda ang kahihitnatnan non.

    By Blogger gelo, at 9:09 PM, April 22, 2006  

  • I agree with what you have stated here. totoong totoo. the fact that here at home, we learnt to enjoy doing all the household chores is really something. and my daughters are really proud to tell one and all in the Philippines that they do all the chores here.one friend of my daughter said: "kawawa ka naman, wala kayong katulong." what a thinking!

    By Blogger Luchie, at 11:41 AM, April 23, 2006  

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    By Anonymous 12 years old summer job, at 7:13 AM, August 11, 2006  

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