Being Indispensable

In the modern era, a lot of businesses wouldn’t function properly without the support of an IT (Information Technology) infrastructure. IT people, me included, are often in the backroom somewhere supporting, enhancing, and maintaining mission critical systems that keep a business going. Some systems are so vital that any malfunction could amount to millions of dollars in losses or even the business to collapse.

It is not surprising, therefore, for lots of IT people to feel important. A developer of a business application program knows the ins and outs of the system. Knows how it works and how each piece ties together in order to deliver a solution. That knowledge sometimes makes a developer feel god-like. Sa isipan ng programmer, hindi aandar ang sistema kung wala siya o sibakin siya sa trabaho. This is one reason why some programmers have that air of over-confidence in themselves. They feel secured na hindi sila basta-basta sisisantihin sa trabaho. But is this over-confidence warranted?

I’m afraid not. The fact remains, no one is indispensable. The business may suffer momentarily with the loss of a staff member critical to its operations. But that’s only temporary. The business have ways to circumvent difficulties. Should the computer program that you wrote and supported for years cease to function, the business will simply try and find other programs that will do the same thing. Worst case, things can be done manually. Slow maybe, but still the business will cope and survive.

I say this because I once had that attitude that I was indispensable. Until one day, because of a contract dispute, the boss simply fired me along with a few others. So what happened to the IT projects we started? Nothing. It’s like they just reformatted the hard drive. The company hired new people and started all over again.

The moral of the story is do not over-rate yourself to the point of thinking you are indispensable. No one is. Not even George W or GMA is indispensable. Ooops, bad examples. But I’m sure you get my drift. Be humble with your accomplishments and not feel superior to others. With or without you, life will go on.

PS. Today I just handed in my resignation to join a company over at the Northshore early next year. My boss said, he was reluctantly accepting my resignation and wished me well in my future work. See what I mean, hindi man lang ako pinigilan. Sabihin ko kaya sa kanya na nagbibiro lang ako?

This could happen to you!

I felt my bladder about to explode as I came barging into the nearest toilet. At the doorway I began unzipping my fly as I felt a few drops started to trickle through my underwear. Finally, I was standing in front of this white porcelain urinal holding my member; allowing the faint yellow liquid ooze freely down the drain. Ohhh what a relief!

I must have drunk a lot 'cause I noticed it was taking an incredibly long time to drain my bladder and a queue of people started lining up patiently behind me. But I don’t care. I was taking my time and I even closed my eyes to further relish the sensation.

It was in the middle of enjoying this private pleasure when all of a sudden, my cellphone started ringing. Soft ringtone at first but progressively getting louder and louder and annoying at that.

I could sense the people around all staring at me. Somehow I could read their thoughts. One guy was thinking: “is he going to stop and answer the phone?”. Another guy was asking himself: “can he answer the phone by holding it in one hand while the other holding his penis?”

My eyes were still shut when the guy behind me remarked: “Perfect timing!”. Then I heard the people around me started to chuckle... A few moments later, it erupted to roaring laughter.

That’s when I turned around, opened my eyes and realized to my relief - thank goodness it was only a dream. By the bedside was my alarm clock ringing and not my cell phone. Pheeew! I thought that would have been embarrassing. Now just one small problem -- explaining to mum why the bed is wet.

Ang kwentong ito ay kathang-isip po lamang at ang tanging layunin ay upang balaan ang mga kalalakihan sa posibleng magananp kapag ang cellphone ay naka-on habang jumi-jingle.

Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see.”

The post below was a comment I received in VFSMovement from a reader named Peter Vajda. It is such an incisive analysis about blogging and the reasons why some bloggers are disrespectful, negative and uncivil, that I thought it would be a waste if I don't share it with other bloggers. I thank Peter for allowing me to reproduce it here. Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. is Co-Founder of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company dedicated to “Essential Well-Being” for body, mind and spirit.

Blogging, Incivility and Negativity

Social scientists, socioeconomists, and social psychologists are increasingly pointing to the fact that the social mood in the United States, and across the world’s culture and civilization is turning bad and that overall social mood is going to get a lot worse before improving. Research graphs and diagrams, such as the Elliot Wave Principle, underscore the finding that there is a natural ebb and flow of social mood (positive vs. negative) and that darker times, socially and politically, lie ahead of us, creating increased tension and negativity. Nowhere is this negative mood more evident than in the blogosphere where incivility, disrespect, meanness, bullying, and demeaning behavior rule the day, and the posts. What is it that accounts for this negativity among bloggers and what can be done to perhaps soothe and diminish their high degree of vitriol, rancor, meanness, incivility and disrespect?

I've followed the negativity of blog discussions mainly from the perspective of being curious about the nature of the interactions where the behaviors are as interesting, if not more so, than the content.

There’s no question passion drives many a blogger’s interactions. Unfortunately, passion is often used as an “excuse” (it’s never a “reason”) to treat another blogger disrespectfully or in an uncivil manner.

Curiously enough, research also points to increases in the number of heart attacks, cancer incidents, obesity rates, diabetes, suicides, spousal abuse incidents, etc. What’s the connection?

Whether it’s an increase in incivility or in life-threatening illness and disease, these statistics do not mean that I have to engage in anti-social or self-destructive behavior.

I can choose what behaviors support me to live a healthy lifestyle and which don't. The same reasoning is true for whether I choose to be civil or uncivil, respectful or disrespectful, hurtful and harmful or compassionate and understanding in my relationships and interactions, on blogs, that is, in how I choose to show up in the world.

Shakespeare said, "An event is neither good nor bad, only thinking makes it so." So, why is one’s "thinking" so negative? What belief systems, mental models of the world and people in the world, assumptions, misconceptions, misperceptions does one have hard-wired into their brain that bring one to reactivity, to negativity in the face of just, well, “words”?

So, with respect to how I show up in the blogosphere, the bottom line is the degree to which I am "conscious" — whether I am consciously aware of “how I am” and “who I am” while blogging, and relating to others in a blog community, or am I “unconscious”, being reactive, with no conscious thought of how I am behaving.

In our current culture in the U.S. where most folks are obsessed with ego needs for control, recognition and security, it's no wonder that most folks' thoughts are "killing thoughts" as opposed to "healing thoughts." The mantra underlying most of our interactions and interrelationships is: “It’s all about me! Out of my way!”

Moreover, in a culture where many folks gain their sense of identity ("who I am") from a direct association with their "knowledge and information" (the database in their brain), it's no surprise that much of the incivility and reactivity on blogs comes from the perspective that: "When you disagree with my information, well, you disagree with me", and because such disagreement is just too much of a hit to many folks' egos, they react (fight, as opposed to flee or freeze). Agreeing to disagree and engaging in constructive dialogue are fast becoming a lost art forms in Western culture.

When folks are "unconscious" of “how they are” and “who they are”, when folks are unable or unwilling to engage in self-reflection, their tendency is to associate and behave with a herd mentality — witness the vitriol, the high-pitch ever-escalating level of disrespect, sarcasm (in the guise of "humor"), mocking, bullying, that is taking the place on blogs.

Much of the negative and disrespectful exchanges in blogs has to do with how one relates to another human being. Life is relationship — the manner in which one chooses to, consciously or unconsciously, relate to, "meet", "see" and accept another person. What’s happening in the blogosphere is a manifestation of a blogger’s internal conflict that manifests as a failure to relate to another individual in an accepting, compassionate, respectful manner that transcends simple "exchange of knowledge and information."

So, while the research is what it is, that does not mean one cannot consciously choose how one wants to be in relationship, in dialogue, in conversation when blogging.

So, how does one become more conscious of one’s blogging behaviors? How does one become conscious of what’s driving one’s negative blogging behavior? By consciously considering what’s underneath one’s need to be uncivil, mean, disrespectful, and demeaning.

There are two underlying drivers for much of the negative interactions on blogs. These two drivers are characterized as: (1) "It's not about the information or content”, and (2) "It's all about the information or content."

1. It's not about the content

From this perspective, what is occurring is the need for an individual blogger to resort to a verbally abusive and bullying approach in an effort to make a "connection" with another person. For other bloggers, the need is to first engage, and then disengage, then engage and disengage, as in a "love-hate" relationship, in order to stay in the game.

In the arena of psychodynamics or ego psychology, both of these behaviors are referred to as "negative merging." In some relationships, the only way two people can "merge" or have any semblance of “connectivity” (e.g., mental, emotional,, psychological, social, etc.) is by fighting or arguing. Without the fighting or arguing, there would be no connectivity, no relating. Thus, the need to bully, argue, demean, find fault, nit-pick, etc., supports a blogger to feel engaged and “merged.” It gives the blogger a sense of “belonging”, being psychologically and emotionally connected. It really has nothing to do with the "information" being discussed or exchanged.

Rather, the negative and uncivil behavior is about connecting and needing to feel "seen" and "heard", in other words, to feel that the blogger is actually “somebody” as opposed to being a “nobody.” Unless the blogger feels they are somebody, they feel they have no sense of value or worth. The only downside is that playing out of this need to be “seen” comes from a deeper place of anger, fear and negativity.

In “negatively merged” relationships, real and true, mature, heartfelt acceptance, approval, and satisfaction are lacking. So, the only way the two or more bloggers can experience any “false” connection at all is from this place of negative engagement, often it's in the form of poking, being disrespectful, being uncivil, nit-picking, finding fault, etc. .

In “negative-merged” relationships, such back-and-forth behavior, and childish emotional acting out, becomes the sole source of contact between bloggers. The bottom line is that in negative-merged relationships, negative contact is better than no contact at all.

So content aside, two or more such bloggers are no different than a couple who, lacking any real heartfelt, mature, adult-level connectivity, resort to arguing and fighting over how to stack the dishes in the dishwasher, fold the laundry, or vacuum the car, or slice the turkey. At the end of the day, for negatively merged bloggers, it's never really about the "content". It's about the need to be "seen" and connect when there's no true feeling of connectedness.

Until and unless a “negative-merged” inclined blogger expands their awareness and explores what's really "underneath" their need to be negative, uncivil and disrespectful, (i.e., by consciously exploring their limiting self-images, beliefs, preconceptions, "hard wiring" about how they view their self vis-à-vis being in the world and relating to others), there's probably never going to be any change or transformation of that blogger’s behavior. So, they'll fight, lick their wounds, go away and come back to fight another day on another blog, always at another's throat, always argumentative, bickering, poking, criticizing. Why? It's the only way they know how to "connect."

2. Content is everything.

The ego-personality is driven by one's Inner Judge and Critic, the inner voice that continually creates drama and upset in our lives, that never allows us to truly feel at peace with ourselves. The inner judge and critic is driven by three major ego needs: control, security and recognition.

Driven consistently and relentlessly by these three needs, many of us derive our identity, that is, "who I think I am", and "who I take myself to be" from external things, as opposed to experiencing ourselves with integrity and authenticity that arises from being in touch with our Inner Nature, our True and Real Self, from what’s "inside".

One of the externals from which people gain a sense of their identify is their “information.” For these folks, their mantra is "I am my information." In other words, my identity, who I am, is defined on what I have in my brain, my database. I live in my mind, and my mind defines me as a person.

Coming from this mental place, then, in a blogging environment, what happens when someone disagrees with an “information identity” blogger, is that the “information identity” blogger is unable and unwilling to see the other’s response as a simple perspective, or point of view, or as just “different from me.” Rather, the “information identity” blogger has a need to react, to become defensive and critical and take the other’s information as a personal affront and as a personal and “attack on me.”

In our culture of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, win vs. lose, me vs. you, for many bloggers there is little to no room for acceptance of differences, i.e., "different information". Rather, there’s more of a need for many bloggers to engage in some type of escalating “ad hominem” attack so that the “information identity” blogger can survive, live, and not lose their identity. The “information identity” blogger survives by meeting their need to “be right" in some way, shape or form.

And so when these “information identity” bloggers feel attacked because another blogger has presented "different information", or disagreed with them, they emotionally feel out of control, insecure, and unrecognized, unseen. Their internal, unconscious reaction is: "My God, I have no identity if my information is "wrong'. I need to fight back and save my self.”

In this state of (often unconscious) reactivity characterized by anger, fear, worry, resentment, defensiveness, feeling "small", unseen, invisible, unrecognized, unappreciated, being resistant, defensive and agitated, and feeling a loss of control, recognition or emotional security, some bloggers act out so they can feel and see themselves as big, large, as “somebody” with an identity.

”Information identity” bloggers might be surprised if they were to explore why they need to act out and sting, poke, demean and bully others, why they need to attack, defend and counter-attack, why they are so caught up in identifying with "my information."

What happens in the blogosphere is really no different from what happens between and among individuals and couples every day, at work, at home and at play, i.e., occurrences of the same behaviors that manifest when folks allow their ego-personalities and "comparative-judgmental minds" to get in the way of a healthy relationship, a healthy dialogue, a healthy interaction. The dynamic here with the “information identity: blogger, is that they are being by their need for control, recognition and security as opposed to allowing their self to coming from one's inner plane where one can be perfectly comfortable with who one is and where one is without needing to be right and without depending on one’s information as the source of who they are.

The poking, the disrespect, the vitriol and incivility are all about resistance, denial and projecting. It's all about not being "consciously conscious of "Who I am" and "How I am" in relationship; so the negativity comes from one's locking on to cruise control, being "unconscious" and simply reacting to everything happening "outside". It's about needing to look "outside" for what's lacking "inside."

While some may view ad hominem attacks, rudeness, disrespect, poking, bullying and negative behaviors as "common" in today’s discussions and relationships, they are not, neither for children nor for adults, and sometimes, in the blogosphere, it's hard to tell the difference. Reactive elements cause mental, emotional and even physical pain, and discomfort and for the actual and lurking "ringside" participants and observers, even though they may not even be aware of it. The discord does take a toll, one way or another.

Where some lurkers would honestly and sincerely like to offer their perspectives in a safe environment, they are often wary of doing so as they don’t want to come up against bloggers whose need is to "take it personally" and who react to "different" takes and information in a negative, poking, rejecting manner. It’s the “information identity” bloggers who make many blogs unsafe for so many others who have worthy contributions to make.

So, The negativity is an attempt to fill this hole of deficiency, thinking that spending time and energy being critical, judgmental, demeaning and disrespectful of others will somehow make me feel "better" at the expense of those who I am stepping on and over in my attempts to get to the top of some ladder (financial, social professional, etc.) that will make me feel like "somebody."

So, what can bloggers do to ensure a more inclusive, safe, mutually-respective container for adult-adult dialogue and reduce the intense degree of negativity that permeates so much of the blogosphere?

Perhaps bloggers can envision and then act to create an environment where one can notice, accept and appreciate the uniqueness of another blogger’s perspective without automatically jumping on the "me vs. you", "right vs. wrong", "good vs. bad" "expert vs. novice", “intelligent vs. stupid” continuum.

Perhaps bloggers can take some time to move out of their intellectual zip code of ”It’s all about what I know.” and explore the perhaps, more foreign, landscape of non-violent communication to enhance the quality of some of their interactions, even approaching discussions with the curiosity of a “beginner’s mind”, a neutral mind.

Perhaps bloggers can take a deep breath, sense into their bodies and experience their feelings and emotions, before responding to a post and consciously ask themselves, “Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person like me consciously choose to be disrespectful, uncivil and harm another person simply because their "information" is different from my "information."

Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see.” So, if you are engaging in uncivil, disrespectful, demeaning behaviors as a blogger, don’t wait for others to change their tone and tenor. It starts with you.

As Rumi says, "Out beyond right doing and wrong doing, there is a field; I'll meet you there." Come from that place in your blogs and interact from that part of yourself that is respectful, accepting, compassionate, empathic, and inclusive.

Bloggers can choose to play in that field with their colleagues; or they can choose to create and fight in a battlefield of words, of ego, hostility and lost identity. One brings happiness, collegiality, contentment and well-being; the other brings pain and suffering, mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually.

Incivility and negativity are all about "resistance" to someone or something “out there” with which one feels uncomfortable. Incivility and negativity are all about being "unconscious” of how one is in relationship. Incivility and negativity are all about the ego’s need for control, recognition and security and being unwilling to go “inside” and explore why one needs to hurt, be verbally abusive, and disrespect another. Incivility and negativity are largely about the mantras: “I’d rather be right than happy." Or, "I have to be somebody at the expense of being seen as a nobody."

Life, after all, is choices. Do I choose to be reactive, hurtful, negative and uncivil? Why? Really, really, really, why?

(c) 2006, Peter Vajda, Ph.D., C.P.C.

Bloody Stupid!

Warning: Stupidity can be hazardous to your health!
A man goes inside a gun shop. Takes out a machete hidden in his jacket and demands the shop owner for guns threatening to attack him with the machete. The owner then pulls out a gun from underneath his drawer and warns the man to put down the machete or he’ll shoot. Instead of backing off, the intruder tried to advance and consequently was shot once in the stomach.

The man didn’t die. Unfortunately! He was later charged with assault with intent to rob. For his stupidity I say he deserves to be shot 10 times in the head to spill his useless brains out of his thick skull. How much more dumb can a person get? Holding up a gun shop with a machete! He might as well have used a fly swatter. At least that would have caused the owner to die laughing.

Warning: Stupidity can be communicable!
If you think the man was stupid then you don’t know anything about (in)justice NZ-style. Listen to this, the owner of the shop who shot the intruder was charged by the Police with unlawful possession of firearm. Yes, you heard it right. A gun shop owner, while inside his own shop is charged with possessing a firearm! Maybe, dealing with stupid criminals also makes the Police stupid.

Good citizens, even when attacked are discouraged from harming the attacker. Kiwis can be so kind and compassionate to a fault. But some (only a few) just plain stupid.

Read the news story here.

Of Equal Treatment

I’ve read the story of Edgar Padlan, the Immigration Officer who allowed a foreigner to jump the line of passengers at the NAIA queuing in front of the Immigration counters. Luli Arroyo, GMA’s daughter, then noticed this and asked Padlan why the foreigner was being given special treatment. Padlan, not realizing it was the President’s daughter he was talking to became arrogant and rudely embarrassed Luli in front of the other people in the area. Hence, today, Padlan is out of job.

Then I read, a post in myePinoy’s blog. And myePinoy is right. The Padlan incident is not a one off. Such things (Immigration Officers giving special treatment to others) happen daily at NAIA. Yet it remains un-noticed and un-publicized because those being overtaken in the queues are ordinary citizens; not sons or daughters of well known politicos.

Now I have a confession to make, kasi medyo tinamaan ako ng post ni myePinoy. You see, I was once a former employee of the Bureau of Immigration (BI). I was with their IT department though and not in the front line. Just want to make that clear lest I be accused of being an Edgar Padlan myself. As a former BI employee I still know a few people working at NAIA. And I’m now ashamed to admit it but whenever I come home, I’m usually one of those who jump the queue and get special treatment.

Is it my fault if a former friend at BI asks me to advance forward and overtake those in front of me? Yes, it is. Because the decent thing for me to do is to decline the invitation and say that I don’t mind waiting in line like everyone else. It is easy to complain and demand for equal treatment when we are the aggrieved party. But when it is us who gets the advantage it’s another story. It's like when a vendor short changes you. Immediately you complain "kulang ang sukli niyo!". Pero kapag may sobra sa sukli, you keep quiet and walk away.

It is very easy to give in to the temptation to accept favors, especially in a society characterized by palakasan, graft and corruption, lagayan, and power-tripping of those in power over the powerless. Yet if we think more of others and lesser of ourselves it should not be that difficult to do the right thing. And each individual who does the right thing contributes in our country's reformation. A conscious effort to be considerate of others is a start. If we want fair, equal treatment, one must himself/herself be fair.

So next time I come home, I’ll decline any special treatment. Promise.

Ganito kami noon (ang karugtong)

(second and final part na ito nung Ganito Kami Noon)

Bagamat mas madali noon ang maging residente, mas mahirap naman ang mag-umpisang mamuhay sa NZ.

Unang-una, nung time na yon mahirap makahanap ng kakilalang Pinoy sa NZ. Sinong tatanungin mo? Hindi pa uso ang email at internet. Di katulad ngayon na sa pamamagitan ng Internet madaling makipagkilala at makipagkaibigan sa ibang Pinoy kahit saang lupalop ng mundo.

Dumayo kami papuntang NZ. Wala ni isang kakilala. Baon ang karampot na naipong dolyares, lumipad kami papuntang Auckland. Hindi namin alam kung ano ang dadatnan namin at kung saan kami matutulog sa unang gabi ng dating namin. Wala kaming pre-arranged accommodation. Bahala na, sa isip namin. Pagdating sa airport dun na lang kami magtatanong ng matutuluyan.

At ganoon nga ang ginawa namin. Sa airport may nakita kaming mga naka-paskil na advertisements ng mga hotel. May nakita kaming mura, yung backpackers. Tinawagan namin at nagtanong kami kung papaano puntahan. Sabi sakay daw kami ng Airport Shuttle papuntang Auckland CBD. Pagdating dun sa backpackers, e hindi naman pala pwede ang may kasamang bata. So itinuro kami sa malapit na hotel. Hila-hila ko ang dalawang malalaking maleta paakyat sa Upper Queen Street kaya’t kahit malamig ang hangin, pinagpawisan pa rin ako. Mabuti na lang may available rooms pa yung hotel. At dun nga kami nag-stay ng isang linggo.

Kung iisipin namin, maswerte na rin pala kami at walang sumundo sa amin sa airport. May naka-kwentuhan ako na dumating din dito nung 1990’s. May Pinoy pala noon na ang racket ang manundo sa airport ng mga bagong dating. Ginawa niyang business at $250 ang singil niya sa pagsundo. Another $250 naman para ituro lamang sa bagong dating kung papaano kumuha ng IRD number. At $250 na naman para ituro kung paano mag-open ng bank account. $750 lahat ang total. Lintek na Pinoy yon o, grabeng maka-taga!

Mas mahirap din maghanap ng flat na mauupahan nung time na yon. Mas marami ang naghahanap kumpara sa mga bakanteng housing. Kadalasan noon kapag nabakante ang flat pagpunta mo sa flat, may tatlo o apat pang nag-aabang. Lahat kayo magfi-fill-up ng application form. Tapos, nasa landlord na ang decision kung sino ang pipiliin. E siyempre disadvantage ka kung bagong dating ka pa lang at walang pang trabaho.

Nung 1990s mas may kamahalan din ang mga second hand na sasakyan. Pano kasi may importation tax pa noon. Lately nalang tinanggal ito kaya’t biglang nagbagsakan ang presyo ng segunda-manong wheels. Naalala ko noon nilakad namin ni esmi mula Newmarket hanggang Greenlane (3km siguro yon). Inisa-isa namin ang mga car yards na madadaanan para maghanap ng murang sasakyan na shoot sa aming budget.

Nung bandang 80s and 90s maraming Pinay ang dumating ng NZ sa pamamagitan ng pagaasawa ng Kiwi. Dahil dito ang image ng mga Pinay, lahat mail-order-brides. Madalas nga noon na kapag may bumating puti kay esmi ang karaniwang tanong sa kanya, "is your husband a Kiwi?". Pabiro naman niyang sinasagot na, "no, he's African". Maitim kasi ako.

Lastly, mas malungkot ang buhay sa NZ noon. Lahat ng shops sarado na pagdating ng alas singko. Sa weekend naman, lahat sarado na rin maliban sa mga supermarket. Kung bibili ka naman ng beer o alak, sa mga liquor stores ka lang makakabili at lunes hanggang sabado lamang. Bawal kasing magbenta ng alkohol na inumin tuwing linggo.

Ma-bo-bore to death ka talaga noon. Lalo na kung single ka o kaya hindi mo pa kasama pamilya mo. Walang mga gimik. Mararamdaman mo ang kalungkutan at ka-homesick-an lalo na’t sasapit ang pasko. Ang mga shops walang mga krismas decors. Ang mga bahay walang mga krismas lights. Tuwing maririnig mo ang mga Pinoy krismas songs tulad ng “Pasko na sinta ko” ni Gary V, o “Christmas in our hearts” ni Jose Mari Chan, naluluha ka.

Lately na lamang nauso ang mga palamuti at ilaw na pampasko dito sa NZ. Nag-extend na rin ng mga shopping hours ang mga malls. At maraming shops ang nagbubukas na rin kapag weekends.

So many things have changed in NZ during the past 10 years. There are lots of things that are easier and more convenient nowadays. Most of all, there seems to be more Pinoys in NZ today, making it easier to feel more at home. I guess there are lots of things, new migrants here should be thankful for.

Events that Stop a Nation

Kahapon katatapos lang ng Melbourne Cup sa Australia. Ito ang pinakasikat na karera ng kabayo sa Australia, held every first Tuesday of November. Dahil sa sobrang kasikatan, Australians everywhere in the world stop to do what they are doing to watch this race. This event really stops a nation.

Sa America, meron din silang “event that stops the nation”. Isa dito yung Superbowl, yung championship game ng NFL. Malaking event ito sa Tate.

Dito naman sa Kiwilandia, wala akong maisip na single event na katulad ng Melbourne Cup or Superbowl. Probabaly, the closest will be a game of NZ’s national Rugby team, the All-Blacks in a tournament such as the Rugby World Cup.

Sa mga Pinoy naman, anong event ang nagpapahinto sa ating bansa? Ano pa, e di ang mga laban ni Pacman. Sabi nga nila kapag may bout si Manny Pacquiao, walang trapik kasi walang mga sasakyan sa daan. At wala ring krimen, kasi maging ang mga holdaper, snatcher, magnanakaw lahat nakatuon and panonood sa laban.

Ba’t nga ba ito ang topic ko? Simple lang naman. Kasi bilang isang migrante na nakarating na ng US, Australia at ngayon kasalukuyang nasa NZ, I feel strange whenever the nation around me “stops” and yet I remain unaffected. Nung nasa US kami, lahat ng bahay nanonood ng Superbowl, pero kami patuloy lang sa aming pang-araw-araw na gawain. Nung bago pa lang kami sa NZ, nagdadalamhati ang mga Kiwi pagkatapos ma-eliminate ang All-blacks sa World Cup quarterfinals, pero kami, wala kaming na feel na lungkot.

The sad thing about being a migrant is that sometimes one feels like a fish out of the water. Your feelings are ambivalent. You’re neither here nor there. When I stop to watch a Pacquiao bout, the Kiwis around me wonder what the brouhaha is all about. And when they talk passionately about their Rugby or Cricket, I feel left out.

The best term to describe me is that I am a Kiwinoy or Piwi, part Kiwi, part Pinoy, but neither one nor the other. Ano ba yan? Parang Shokoy, part man, part fish. I feel like I'm having an identity crisis.

Ganito Kami Noon (part 1)

Kuha sa SM City, December 1994, huling taon namin sa ating bayan.

Mahigit isang dekada na ang nakakaraan ngayon nang maisipan naming lisanin ang inang bayan. Marami ang nagulat noon sa aming desisyon na sa NZ manirahan. Bakit daw NZ? Ni hindi nga naman nila alam kung saang lupalop ng mundo matatagpuan ang NZ. Ang akala ng marami malapit ito sa Switzerland dahil hawig ang pangalan. Marinig pa lang nila ang “Zealand” giniginaw na sila sa pag-aakalang nababalutan ito ng yelo katulad ng Swiss Alps.

Bibihira noon ang nakakakilala sa NZ bilang isang destinasyon ng mga Pinoy. Mas kilala nung time na yon ang Australia kaya pirming mahaba ang pila ng mga aplikante sa harapan ng Australian Embassy sa Makati. Sa di kalayuang building naman, ang NZ Embassy. Walang security guard. Kasi wala naman pila. Pwede kang mag-walk-in anytime para humingi ng application form. Maswerte ka na kung may makasabay kang ibang Pinoy sa reception room ng Embassy.

Napuno na siguro ako sa magulong buhay sa atin. Time ni Cory noon at puro na lang kasi coup d’etat. Kaya naman nung may mabasa akong article sa isang pahayagan tungkol sa NZ, maliit nga ngunit progresibong bansa din katulad ng Australia at Canada at higit sa lahat mapayapa at tahimik, nagpasya akong puntahan ang NZ Embassy upang humingi ng karagdagang impormasyon.

Sa elevator may nakasabay akong puti. Napansin niya yung binabasa kong newspaper clipping kaya’t tinanong niya ako “are you planning to visit NZ?”. Sabi ko I’m thinking about it. Sagot naman niya, “NZ is very beautiful. Very green. Lots of open spaces, no pollution, not crowded, lots of sheep. I’m sure you’ll love the place.” Naisip-isip ko, sign siguro yon na sa NZ talaga and destiny ko.

Noon pa man, may points system nang ginagamit ang NZIS sa pag-assess ng mga aplikante. Ang kaibahan lang parang mas madali noon ang makakuha ng sapat na points. Basta college grad ka at may work experience ka na at least 2 years, almost sure ka nang papasa.

Mas madali din ang proseso noon sa pag-apply. Wala ng Expression of Interest (EOI), Invitation to Apply (ITA) or Work to Residence (WTR). Submit ka lang ng application at tapos hintayin ang result. Usually wala na ring face-to-face interview. Pagdating ng result either decline or approve na ang Permanent Residence mo. Isa pa, sa Makati lang ang submission at processing ng application. Hindi katulad ngayon, sa Bangkok pa.

Medical examination ang unang step sa application. Which I thought was good. Kasi kung bagsak ka sa medical, di ka na papag-aplayin, so di ka na gagastos pa. After makuha namin ang resulta ng medical exam, na pasado naman, kinalap ko na ang mga required documents. Katulad din ngayon, kailangan ng NBI clearance, police clearance, employment certificates, birth certificates, transcript at diploma. Nung kumpleto na ini-lodge na namin yung application for residency sa NZ Embassy at binayaran yung lodging fee na kung di ako nagkakamali P5,600 nung time na yon.

After about 6 months, dumating na yung sulat mula sa Embassy. Approve daw ang application namin for Permanent Residence to NZ. Hinihingi na ang aming mga pasaporte para matatakan ng residence visa.

Kumpara sa ngayon, lubhang napakadali noon. Di tulad ngayon, magastos na, mahirap na para kang sumusuot sa butas ng karayom, at wala pang garantiya na makakamit mo ang Permanent Residency (PR). Ang kadalasang ibibigay lamang ng NZIS ay yung tinatawag na Work to Residence (WTR) visa, which is basically just a work permit. Kailangan mo munang makahanap ng job related sa natapos mo bago ka bigyan ng PR. Kung hindi mo magawa ito, mapapauwi ka. Sayang lang lahat ng nagastos mo.

Bagamat mas madali kumpara sa panahon ngayon ang dinanas naming proseso sa pagpunta ng NZ, marami din naman mga balakid at paghihirap kaming naranasan.

Itutuloy...