The Traveller Rests

Two years of blogging with 268 posts, I believe I've said about everything I've wanted to say and have accomplished lots of things I never even planned for. When I first started this blog back in December 2004, I thought of it as a journey with no specific destination. Where it was going to take me, I have not the slightest idea back then. I first intended it to be mainly a journal of my thoughts and ideas, in the hope of leaving something to the people I love the most. But the journey had twists and turns. And just like the "Little Prince", the journey took me to places I never imagined before, met new friends, rediscovered old ones, and even got me involved in civic projects and organizations.

But now it's time to take a rest from this journey; perhaps to fully appreciate the view before I embark on another. For now, I wish to thank all those I've met along the way. And I'm just happy to have touched the lives of other people (hopefully in a good way), and I thank them for having touched mine too. You all made the journey an enjoyable and memorable one. Wishing you all the very best for the coming new year and years to come and hoping to meet you all again someday... somewhere.

Pagiging Totoo - When it becomes an Excuse, not a Virtue

“Kapag galit ako sa isang tao, pinararamdam ko”, “Nagpapakatotoo lang ako”, “Hindi ako plastik”, “Totoo akong tao”. Madalas kong marining/mabasa ang mga pananalitang ito mula sa ibang blogger kapag sila’y may nakaka-samaan ng loob dito sa blogosphere. Para sa mga blogger na ganito ang pananaw walang masama kung murahin nila o magbitiw sila ng mga masakit na pananalita laban sa mga taong kagalit nila. Kaya daw nila yon ginagawa dahil “nagpapakatotoo” sila sa tunay nilang nararamdaman. Ang pagiging totoo ba’y sapat na dahilan upang makasakit ng kapwa?

Para sa akin, ang makasakit ka ng ibang tao kahit sa pamamagitan lamang ng pananalita ay hindi tama. Okay, maaring nauna siya. May nasabi siyang hindi kanais-nais na kinagalit mo. But you have choices. 1) restrain your anger or 2) retaliate. Unfortunately, some of us seem to equate choice number 2 to “pagpapakatotoo”. Without knowing it, “pagpapakatotoo” becomes an excuse for being rude and disrespectful. Justifying a wrong-doing by trying to appear virtuous.

If your definition of “pagpapakatotoo” (being genuine, not fake) is unrestrained expression of anger then I suggest a carefully look at your values. Perhaps, a few sessions in anger management may help too. Or, simply think of the times you’ve done something wrong that made your parents angry. I'm sure you'ld rather have them forgive you, than see them “nagpapakatotoo”, do you?

Anger can be restrained or vented freely. Free-will means you're free to do whatever you want. But if you choose to do something negative, you must be mature enough to admit to it and not rationalize the action using an excuse that you're doing it out of virtue. Better yet learn to control your anger and be civil to everyone including those who caused you anger in the first place.

You don't have to act fake, plastic or sarcastic towards people you detest. All it means is that you avoid being rude and disrespectful. Actually, it's not difficult. If you see a comment that annoyed you, don't reply immediately. Sleep on it first. The following day or days, when most of the anger would have dissipated and you're less emotional, any comment you write would then be more logical and constructive.

Peace and goodwill po sa inyong lahat. Susunod na Lunes, Pasko na.

Thoughts about The Lake House, Soulmates

We watched this movie, The Lake House, on DVD last week. It stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

Plot: A lonely doctor (Sandra), once occupied an unusual lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its former resident, a frustrated architect (Keanu). What’s extraordinary about the story is that Sandra’s time is 2006, Keanu’s 2004, but still by some sort of magic were able to correspond in real-time and the two fall in love.

I’ve read lots of negative reviews about the movie saying the plot is ludicrous, lots of nonsense, illogical, incredible, cheesy, corny, and insultingly dumb. Pretty sure it was a flop.

However, I must admit I did quite enjoy watching it. Probably it depends on how one chooses to interpret the details. If one interprets the story literally, then yes, it is incredibly hard to believe. However, if one interprets it figuratively or metaphorically, then it's easier to appreciate what the director may have wanted to convey.

For instance, for the house by the lake, one may think of it methaphorically and not a physical address. It could be virtual, imagined or even an address in cyberspace. In the movie, Sandra and Keanu exchange letters magically via a physical mailbox. Yes, that’s hard to believe. Yet nowadays, it's ordinary to receive emails in our inboxes in almost real-time.

The two-years gap between the two lovers could symbolize age difference. Or the director’s way of conveying how two people can be in love even when it is impossible for them to unite physically. Impossible maybe because of present circumstances beyond their control, or because of events that transpired in the past and affected the present.

Oh well, like the movie or not, I simply think of it as the story of two soulmates finding each other no matter what.

Speaking of soulmate, is there really such a thing? Are there souls literally fated to be mates to each other?

When we think of a soulmate, we normally associate the term to someone’s true love, or someone that affects another person in a positive, loving way. But checking Wikipedia, I found out that it is possible for a soulmate to also inflict injury to their twin flame.

Soulmate Emotional Destruction Theory

Ultimately the consequence of this notion is the unfortunate reality that soulmates often possess the ability to inflict serious emotional injury unto their twin flame, greater than any other being could. This often results in the separation of idealized love, due to the severe emotional impact. Many soulmates are destined for an eternal search, not for lack of meeting, but rather lack of acceptance. The encounter is often analogous to the collision of matter and antimatter, a violent explosive reaction will occur, but if held through to completion only pure energy, and thus harmony, will result. Unfortunately few encounters are held through to completion. - Wikipedia

I thought that was quite interesting. Whatever the case maybe, I’m sure of one thing. I’ve found my soulmate.

Bullying in School

Bullying is when someone, (could be one person or a group of persons) repeatedly does some mean things on another person in order to have power over that person. These could be by saying or writing nasty things about them, harassing them, threatening them, hitting them, not talking to them, stealing from them, damaging their properties, making fun of them, humiliating them, spreading lies about them.

I remember during my high school days (many decades ago!) bullying wasn’t that vicious. A lot of the things we did, we did mostly as a joke to make others laugh. It was normal for us to call each other names like “doro” (laki kasi mata), “barag” (mukhang lizard), “kokak” (mukhang palaka), “baluga” (maitim kasi), “Tange” (look alike nung comedian na si Tange), “bagsik” (mabagsik kasi ang B.O.).

I think the meanest thing, a group of my classmates did back then, was to steal the sandwich baon of one classmate. These group of mischievous juveniles would slip out of class before recess and ransack the bag of another classmate and eat his baon. They kept doing it for days. Until finally, this classmate whose sandwiches were being stolen decided to put some “flavoring” in his sandwiches. He put in some “butiki droppings”. Only then that these group stopped harassing the poor guy.

Talking to my daughter lately, I’ve realized bullying nowadays like most things have gone high-tech. People now stopped passing pieces of paper containing nasty messages about someone else. Instead they leave nasty TXT messages or leave malicious remarks on the website of the person they’re attacking.

Also just recently I came to realize that bullying is not only among students. In fact a most likely victim of bullying nowadays is a teacher. Especially if the teacher comes from a different cultural background, has a thick Asian accent or has difficulty with the English language. Students can be so mean to a teacher without realizing that they are already bullying the teacher.

I felt sorry for one of my daughter’s teachers who my daughter said was really a good teacher. What happened is that a group of pupils, acting like spoiled brats, were often disruptive, disrespectful, and made fun of the teacher’s Hongkong accent.

The poor teacher eventually quit his job and decided to go back to HK; never to teach children anymore. It’s sad when one’s vocation, especially that of being an educator to the youth gets stifled for no good reason. A casualty to a despicable social behaviour we should all do without.

Prize Giving Ceremony

Last night we went to my daughter’s school to attend what they call “End of Year Prize Giving Ceremony” for the senior school (Years 11, 12 and 13). This is when the school gives out awards to students who excelled in academics, arts, sports, music, etc. during the year. It is also the last official school function to be attended by the Year 13 students. Year 13 is roughly equivalent to 2^nd year college in the Philippines. After Year 13, students move on to University. Si Fidez, Year 11 pa lang. Kaya lang siya kasama kasi may award siya.

Sa atin ang ang katapat nitong ceremony na ito Graduation. Maraming pagkakaiba ang graduation nila dito compared sa atin. Dito walang fanfare. Students come in their usual school uniforms. Kahit yung mga Year 13 na gagradweyt, naka school uniform lang, hindi naka-toga. Parents and visitors come in their usual everyday office or business clothes.

Students who are bestowed awards are given certificates or plaques, or cups (parang trophy). Walang sinsabitan ng medals. At kapag tinawag ang estudyante para kunin ang award siya lang ang aakyat sa stage. Hindi kasama ang parents. Kami nanonood lang at taga-palakpak. Wala ring mga paparazzi na nagkokodak sa harapan.

Wala ring mga magarbong intermission numbers na kung saan may sasayaw, kakanta, tutula nang mahabang-mahaba. Ang intermission meron lang kagabi, tumugtog ng classical music ang orchestra, tapos may isang nag-flute na solo. Very dry, simple lang. Kaya naman in 1 hour and a half tapos na ang seremonyas.

Fidez was one of those in Year 11 who were given Academic Honours Award. It’s the highest award given to those who got 90 and above across 6 subjects. For this award, she received a certificate and a $30 book voucher. She was disappointed. She would have preferred a beauty products voucher instead. Mana talaga sa akin. Yung talino lang ha, hindi yung hilig sa beauty products.

Why is it Brilliant?

I felt suddenly sentimental hearing this song over the radio. However, reading/listening to the lyrics closely, I do really wonder why the singer could say life is brilliant. Because if it was me in the situation, I'ld say life sucks, or love hurts. What do you think?

You're Beautiful
by James Blunt

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flyin' high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

La la la
la la la la la la

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

The song is dedicated to my "long lost but now found" friend.

News Flash: NewJobz leaves migrants short of $600,000

I knew something wasn't right about this company when I wrote about it in this blog. See Bagong Raket ni Kaloy. When I wrote about it, nag-re-refund pa sila ng mga ibinayad ng mga members. Ngayon, sorry daw sa mga nagbayad. Wala ng refund.



Reference http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3887200a11,00.html

Recruitment company leaves migrants short of $600,000
04 December 2006
By MARTIN VAN BEYNEN

A Christchurch recruitment company owes 229 potential migrants about $600,000, after reneging on its refund policy.

Stu Macann and Associates Ltd, based in New Brighton, closed last month, but two of its three directors continue the migrant recruitment business under a newly formed company, Skills New Zealand Ltd.

Local creditors have also missed out, but 229 potential migrants, many from Third World countries, are owed $600,000 in refunds.

Stu Macann and Associates Ltd started in 2003 with the aim of giving potential migrants an online service (newjobz) to help them secure a job offer in New Zealand which would help them gain residency. It claims to have helped settle 225 migrant families in New Zealand. Clients paid a fee of about $3000, which was fully refundable if a suitable job offer was not forthcoming.

About eight months ago, the company hit financial trouble, and last week Stu Macann and Associates Ltd ceased trading, although the operation, with a reduced staff, has carried on under Skills New Zealand Ltd.

Skills New Zealand Ltd is owned and run by Christchurch businessmen Keith Lightfoot and Stu Macann, both of whom were also directors and shareholders of Stu Macann and Associates.

Suresh Antil, a pharmacist, 50, who lives just outside New Delhi, in India, was one those caught up in the company failure.

In August, he asked for his money back he paid a $3000 fee of which $2000 was refundable and in October, Lightfoot sent Antil a letter promising to pay by December 15.

However, on November 22, Antil was informed Stu Macann and Associates had ceased trading, and that the new company continuing the business would not honour the refund undertaking.

Antil's daughter, Mahima Sahrawat, who emigrated to New Zealand with her husband, Arun, three years ago, said her father had borrowed the money for the fee, and would now struggle to pay it back. The $3000 fee was equal to her father's yearly salary.

"It's very much money for my father. He is still paying very heavy interest on the loan."

Lightfoot told The Press the original company was facing liquidation, because of financial troubles, and it had taken legal advice on how it should proceed.

The refund policy had undermined the company, and made it unsustainable, he said.

"We said we'll get you a job or your money back, which was a fantastically charitable thing to say, looking back. But we did, and we have been very successful in placing a lot of people into New Zealand.

"Eight months ago we realised the policy was causing us some problems, because people were taking advantage of it. We were paying out money to people who had used our services for 18 months. They used our time, our energy, our job-searching programme, and then asked for a refund," he said.

Some had been offered 17 jobs, but had turned them all down, and some turned down a job and then moved to New Zealand to take up the job. A total of $1.6 million had been refunded to 667 clients, he said.

"We understand why you are talking to us. We have lost personally. We believe we are doing the right thing by the migrants and always have done. We don't feel in any way we have done anything wrong except we understand we wrote a contract which we did not honour and that's that."

He agreed it was not a good look for New Zealand, but "we do not feel we have let the side down".

"We are extraordinarily unhappy about what's happened here. It's been an emotional drain on us all."

Skills New Zealand Ltd would continue to work for the clients who wanted to stay with the firm but no refunds would be given.

A statement on the company's website that it was a "registered immigration agent" was not misleading, despite the fact the firm was not on any immigration agent register, he said.

"We are registered as much as anyone else is registered. The process of registration is going through right now with Immigration New Zealand and we're part of that registration process."

Immigration New Zealand was happy for firms like his to call themselves registered immigration agents, until the "certification" was sorted out, he said.

The Labour Department's deputy secretary, Mary Anne Thompson, said: "As there is currently no authority that oversees the registration of immigration advisers, agents cannot call themselves regis-tered agents."

The Immigration Advisers Licensing Bill, which was wait-ing to be passed into legis-lation, would create a licensing authority within the Depart-ment of Labour to administer a licensing regime, she said.

Lightfoot said local creditors were also left owed money by the company change and 21 staff had been made redundant.

Bernard Walsh, chairman of the New Zealand Association for Migration and Investment, said his organisation deplored any actions that brought the nation's immigration system into disrepute. "Certainly, what has happened here will reflect very badly on New Zealand."

Any person who has information relevant to this story is asked to email martin.vanbeynen@press.co.nz or ring 027 220 4453.

Remembering The Little Prince

He was standing before a garden, all a-bloom with roses.

“Good morning,” said the roses.

The little prince gazed at them. They all looked like his flower.

“Who are you?” he demanded, thunderstruck.

“We are roses,” the roses said.

And he was overcome with sadness. His flower had told him that she was the only one of her kind in all the universe. And here were five thousand of them, all alike, in one single garden!

“She would be very much annoyed,” he said to himself, “if she should see that ... She would cough most dreadfully, and she would pretend that she was dying, to avoid being laughed at. And I should be obliged to pretend that I was nursing her back to life--for if I did not do that, to humble myself also, she would really allow herself to die...”

Then he went on with his reflections: “I thought that I was rich, with a flower that was unique in all the world; and all I had was a common rose. A common rose, and three volcanoes that come up to my knees--and one of them perhaps extinct forever... That doesn't make me a very great prince...”

And he lay down in the grass and cried.

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The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

“You are not at all like my rose,” he said. “As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world.”

And the roses were very much embarassed.

“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

“Goodbye,” he said.

“Goodbye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”

From Chapters 20 and 21 of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry

On average, men are expected to live ‘til age 70. That’s 25550 days total. If one meets just say 10 new people, on average, everyday, after 25k days one would have met over quarter of a million people. If you’re 35 years old now, that means you would have met around half of quarter of a million. Now, if someone asks you to list down all the names of all the people you’ve met from childhood to the present day, do you think it will be near the 125,000 mark? If I did that, I’m sure my list wouldn’t even reach a thousand.

Because the truth is, although we meet lots and lots of people everyday, only few of those meetings we put any degree of significance. And just like the Little Prince who meets a hedge of roses, glowing in beauty and radiance and all vying for his attention, his affection remained on one particularly obstinate, lowly rose, left behind in a far away place.

I feel like we are all Little Princes and Princesses moving from place to place, searching for knowledge, meeting lots of interesting and not so interesting people, experiencing various emotions, looking for home, searching for love, ... hopefully ... finding that unique rose.