The Tale of the Missing Coffee Mugs

Pagkatapos kong mabasa and post ni Mr. Tanggero tungkol sa butiking nakiki-inom sa coffee cup niya, na-alala ko yung isang email na pinadala ko sa mga opismeyts ko tungkol sa mga nakikigamit at pagkatapos nawawalang coffee cups sa opis namin.

The email created such a fuss and generated varied reactions from my co-workers. Some took it as a joke. Others replied with their own suggestions. Yung iba, na masyadong seryoso sa buhay, got quite upset and angry with me for wasting their time and the company’s network resources dahil muntik daw ma-overload ang email server namin because of it. In any case, the email was effective. Dahil hindi na nawala uli ang mug ko.

Anyway, eto yung infamous email ko.

To: Everyone
Subject: Missing Coffee Mugs

I have had enough. It’s time someone speaks up and stops pretending everything’s fine. I’m referring to personal coffee mugs being lost or stolen from the kitchen. I’m sure I am not the only one who’s lost a mug in this office. If you borrow someone else’s coffee mug, please return it in the kitchen after use. Or even better would be to bring and use your own at least for hygienic reasons. In the span of 6 months, I’ve already lost 3. That’s one in every couple of months. I reckon, something has to be done, so I came up with the following suggestions that hopefully would discourage people from using/stealing other people's mug.

1. Break the handle. No one wants damaged goods.

2. Buy the ugliest mug that you can find. Assumption is that because it is ugly, no one wants it. (Not 100% effective I should add, because one of those I lost was quite horrible).

3. Using a permanent ink, write on it "owner of this mug has herpes, std, aids, sars" just anything contagious will do.

4. Lastly, you can try the following. Drill a small hole at the bottom of the mug in which only you have the plug for it. I'm about to get a patent for this idea as soon as I've made a working prototype.

From Mr. Tanggero’s experience, you could add one more suggestion. Write on the mug: “I'VE ALREADY KILLED A LIZARD WHO TRIED TO USE THIS. SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.”