mGa KuRo-KuRo Ni Ka UrO

Monday, September 12, 2005

"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend." - Abraham Lincoln

This morning while driving on the motorway on my way to work, a truck suddenly swerved and cut in front of me. I was caught by surprise because the truck didn’t even indicate and in my surprise had to step on the brakes quite abruptly. In my younger years I would most probably have retaliated. I’ld probably stepped on the gas to overtake this lunatic and in the process give the driver the dirty finger.

But I’m older now and wiser. I’ve realized retaliation and violence can only lead to more violence. Being more mature, I’ve learned to contain my anger and have better self-control. I wasn’t like this before. I remembered having fits of tantrums when I was angry and would vent my ire by cursing and swearing for days. Now I’ve mellowed and changed. This came about when I’ve finally grasped the meaning of free-will.

Not many people fully comprehend the power of free-will. Many of us still let our actions be dictated upon by our emotions. When someone makes us angry, we hit back on that person. When we’re hungry, we eat. When sleepy, we sleep. When in love, we love. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as the emotion is a neutral or a positive one. But if the emotion is a negative one, for example anger or hate, this is when we should exercise our God-given right to free-will.

Free-will is about choice. In everything we do we have a choice. When someone upsets us and makes us angry, we have a choice on how we’ld react. It’s either we let our emotions take control of us and we retaliate and hit-back or exercise self-control and do something that is non-violent and reconciliatory. Most people do the first one because it is more humanly natural, although it is not really the right thing.



For myself, I’ve made a conscious decision to follow the second option. As a blogger, I’m exercising my right to freewill not to retaliate on anyone. To signify my decision I’ve decided to put a stamp on my blog and announce to all visitors coming in to my site that this site is a VISITOR FRIENDLY SITE. It is my promise to anyone who comes in to my site, leaves a comment or message, either it be good or bad, for or against my views, that I am willing to listen to them and that if ever I’m offended with what they’ve written that:

  • I will not react violently at them.
  • I will not reply back in a menacing tone or manner or use foul language or swearing.
  • I will sort out our differences with them privately and discretely and refrain from quarreling or bickering in public.

Most people blog and read other people’s blog to find small relief from the stresses of everyday life. I believe it’s unkind to add any more stress to people by involving them in personal quarrels and animosities.

This is a crusade to restore and maintain peace and harmony among fellow bloggers. My appeal is for everyone tired of the in-fighting and the negativity in the BlogoSphere, and share the VFS views of open-mindedness, reconciliation and non-retaliation to join this crusade by displaying the VFS icon on their sites.

I've made my choice to treat all visitors with courtesy and respect befitting a true guest and friend, the VFS way. How about you? What's your choice?

37 Comments:

  • I am friendly visitor, may I come in? :D

    By Blogger TEACHER SOL, at 11:45 AM, September 12, 2005  

  • Tao po! Pwede bang makatuloy. Huwag na po kayong mag-abala. Huwag na ninyo akong ipagpatay ng ilaw at ipagbukas ng bintana busog na po ako. Sapat na yong bisita ko kayo para humingi ng balato. Talaga bang hindi kayo ang nanalo kahit doon sa winning wheel. Taga-Glenfield kahit 1 million nz yon laki na rin noon halos 40 million na sa atin. Balato naman. Pasensiya na po kayo sa makulit na bisita. Pabalato!

    By Blogger atoy, at 1:17 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • aba! pangatlo ako sa friendly visitor! hehehe...

    i already attached the logo on my blog... at natiyempuhan kong mailagay sa kung saan everypost, makikita sya kaagad, kase nasa unahan lang ng title ng every post! hehehe...

    tyyy po for the mail...ska congratulations po sa inyo...kakahiya, di man lng ako nakatulong...

    nanalo po ba kau dun sa lotto?

    By Blogger DOPS, at 1:48 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • friendly visitor din po ako :)

    ingat!

    By Blogger Ghie, at 2:13 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • lahat kayo, huwag ninyong paniniwalaan si atoy. hindi ako tumama ng lotto. papaano ako tatama nakalimutan kong bumili ng ticket. :(

    baka makarating ang tsismis sa pinas, ma-kidnap pa ako.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 2:20 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • KU,
    Pati ba mga kidnappers nagbabasa na rin ng blog. Hindi pa nanalo si Ka Uro ng lotto hindi bale po kung ang nabola dito ng lotto ay si Garci pagkat pwede na naming "lottoing makaw". Hayan niya kung mahahanap namin siya sabihin namin dito na siya migrate tapos aplay siya sa Lotto o sa comelec dito saka na lang si KU tataya ng lotto kasi sigurista siya ako naman pag sa nz comelec siya napapunta tatakbo akong prime minister.

    By Blogger atoy, at 3:13 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • Very well said Ka Uro. We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. Tama po kayo, we just have to make a conscious effort and decide on how we react on things. Kanya-kanyang ways lang on how we react on every situation eh. The bottomline is, whatever our reaction, it should be guided by our motivation to promote peace and well-being.

    By Blogger Bluegreen, at 3:33 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • I am with you in your quest for harmony. Blogging should not be made a tool to spread animosity among bloggers. We are a diverse group of people therefore every blogger must understand that each of us has unique qualities and differences. At any rate, this should serve as a reminder not as a means to treat one's belief or opinions as above or better than tbe others. We all need to listen but this does not mean we bow down to one's estimation. We need to air our judgment at times but this does not mean we antagonize those we do not agree with. We stress some points but this does not mean we disrespect others. In summary, respect begets respect.

    By Blogger bing, at 4:34 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • Hey! Very nice and sensible one here! If this is your crusade. Count me in!

    "Love your enemies, it will drive them crazy!"

    Keep on keeping on!
    --jun--

    By Blogger Flex J!, at 4:55 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • Hi KU,

    Sino siga dito?!!!!
    I agree at Peace sa inyong lahat lalo na po sa inyo KU hehe =)

    Good PM.=)

    -Jack

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:13 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • KU,
    Sama ako dyan sa crusade mo. Friendly blogs with friendly visitors.

    PS: I'm sending your entry to my husband. Lagi yon pumapatol sa mga nangcu-cut sa kalsada.

    By Blogger jinkee, at 8:22 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • mam sol,
    yes of course mam. salamat nga pala for supporting vfs and displaying the logo on your site. it will mean a lot if more an more bloggers adhere to the vfs views, magiging peaceful tayong lahat.

    atoy,
    sopisticated na ang mga kidnappers. baka nga naka-abang na sa airport pagbaba ko dahil sa kinalat mong tsismis na nanalo ako sa lotto.

    bluegreen,
    thanks. that's exactly what we want -- peace.

    bing,
    agree with you. we have differences and we all should respect them. sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best compromise.

    fj,
    we don't want them to be crazy, baka mag-amok sila. just kidding. i know what you mean. hope you display the vfs logo on you site too.

    jack,
    do you have a blog yet? lagyan mo na rin ng vfs logo kung meron ka.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 8:26 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • jinkee,
    thank you. hope to see the vfs logo on your blog.
    about your hubby, sabihin mo huwag nang pumatol sa mga nag-cu-cut. kawayan na lang sila at mag-smile. minsan may bumusina sa akin at galit na nagmumura kasi di ko napagbigyan. instead of giving him the dirty finger, i gave the V (peace) sign and smiled. so smile na rin siya.

    kung minsan naiisip ko kasi kung papatulan mo, sasama ang araw nila. then sasama ang mood nila sa mga taong ma-meet nila. so it has a ripple effect di ba? and you never know na baka yung ripple effect ng bad moods bumalik din sa yo.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 8:34 PM, September 12, 2005  

  • i can tell that you are now the 'master of your own domain'ka uro. aba pwedeng gamiting sermon ito sa misa a. nga pala, di ba malapit na uwi mo sa pinas?

    By Blogger Ka Elyong, at 5:17 AM, September 13, 2005  

  • very well said, couldnt agree more..friendly visitor here..

    By Blogger Analyse, at 5:17 AM, September 13, 2005  

  • KU,
    I have a point of clarification para sa kagandahan ng blogging community tutal ito na rin ang ating paksa. Kelan natin sasabihin na ang isang bagay ay tsismis at kelan ito isang biro o joke. Kasi ito ang isa sa nakita ko ring root ng di pagkakaunawaan. Pag sinabing bang tsismis may malicious intent na siraan ang isang tao o ipahamak o may other meaning. May iba't ibang sensibilities siguro nga ang mga tao tulad na nga nangyari noong mga nakaraang alitan dito sa blogging world. Yong joke para sa isa hindi maganda ang dating sa isa kahit walang masamang intensiyon yong isa kundi magpasaya lang o to break the mounting pressure. Kinakailangan din ba nating pagsabihan naman ang mga nagcocomment na isipin muna ang sensibility ng isang tao niyang papasyalan bago siya magcomment. May mga bagay na kahit hindi yon ang layunin ng isang tao ganyun ang nagiging interpretasyon ng iba tulad nga ng sabi mo sa pag-utot.Yon kasing aking joke sa yo wala ang intensyon na ipahamak ka sorry kung yon ang naging dating sa yo and for me being so insensitive and so naive. I'm just doing it para naman sumaya-saya tayo kahit nangangarap lang and the thought of causing harm to anyone is beyond my farthest intention.

    By Blogger atoy, at 8:52 AM, September 13, 2005  

  • I think what you are doing is the 90/10 principle which states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react.

    What does this mean? We really have no control over the 10% of what happens to us; you can not control the car from breaking down, plane arriving late that throws our schedule off. We have no control over this (10%), in contrast, you determine the other 90%.

    By Anonymous myepinoy, at 11:23 AM, September 13, 2005  

  • atoy,

    ikaw naman sineryoso mo yung sinabi ko tungkol sa mga kidnappers. alam ko naman joks lang yon. at hindi naman ako takot makidnap at wala naman silang makukuha sa akin. at alam kong ginagabayan ako ng nasa itaas.

    maganda ang question mo. ang mahirap kasi sa ganitong medium, hindi tayo nagkakakitaan kaya base lang sa nakasulat at nababasa ang interpretasyon. hindi natin nakikita ang body language at facial expression nung kausap natin.

    ako, personally mahirap akong ma-offend ng kahit anong comment. bakit? kasi basic sa paniniwala ko ang kabutihan ng tao. i trust in the goodness of my fellowmen. naniniwala akong no man in his right mind will harm anyone on purpose. kung makasakit man ang isang tao, sigurado akong not intentional yon o kaya misinformed o misguided yung tao.

    ang problema kasi may mga tao na siguro may pagkaparanoid na rin. lahat ng sabihin sa kanila imbes na positive ang interpretation, parating negative. they tend to think that someone is always out there to harm them.

    kailangan lang talaga ang maging open-mided at huwag maging makitid ang pangunawa.

    i'll give mildred's comments in my previous post as an example. hindi ako na-offend o nagalit sa mga sinabi niya. dahil alam ko pinagtatanggol lang niya ang kaibigan niya. dahil doon i have no reason para awayin siya.

    pero tama ka rin na dapat tayong aware sa mga sensibilites ng iba. kaya huwag basta uutot kung saan-saan. :D

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 11:31 AM, September 13, 2005  

  • myepinoy,
    that's a good one. first time i've heard this principle, but it does make sense to think that there are uncontrollable things that can happen. how we react to the 90% we can control determines the quality of life we live. thanks for sharing this, myepinoy.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 11:38 AM, September 13, 2005  

  • Hi Ka Uro, itong post mo ay great, you're right na we should keep our cool na we don't need to lower ourselves sa level ng iba, na if they do something that puts in a not so good of a mood, matutong mag pasensiya at wag tularan. It's a good one talaga to think like that, there's enough chaos and problems in the world at pag tayo ay ganon din, naku! Susubra na, very unprofessional na ang mag act like the others who acts so uncivilized and narrow minded. Childish na.

    By Anonymous ~Ana P. S.~, at 1:55 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • ayan di maganda malinaw nagkakapalitan ng paliwanagan. Puwede namang daanin sa maayos na usapan. Kala ko kasi nagalit ka sa akin dahil mahirap talaga itong ating medium mga kataga lamang at kwardradong mundo o mukha ang ating kaharap at kausap hindi natin nakakikita ang expression ng kausap. Kaya sana bago magalit sa isa't isa daanin muna sa magandang usapan o email. Basta ako alam kong ako ay nagkamali hindi ako napapahiyang humingi ng patawad. "Sori uli fafa ha" huwag kang magtampo sa akin tuloy na uli ang ating espadahan. Ilabas na ang mga kinakalawang na sandata. Timeout nga pala Sabi ni Tanggerz ay kanya raw ayaw tumirik ano ba yon trak na tumitirik ayaw umandar.Lagyan mo kaya muna yan ng battery at baka diskargado na at matagal nang di nagagamit.

    By Blogger atoy, at 2:21 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • Hi KU,

    I was able to watch in Discovery or National Geo Channel something interesting regarding human interaction. Research shows that it is most likely na magkaroon talaga ng misundertanding between individuals if the experience is not on a first-hand basis.

    Example:

    Naglalakad ka sa kalye or kung saan man at meron kang nakabanggaan sa balikat. It is most likely na pareho kayong magsasabi ng excuse me or sorry with matching smile pa kayo sa isat-isa, thus making the incident na parang wala lang. But compared to what happened to Ka Uro for example...(Buti nalang hindi pinatulan ni KU=))It is most likely na magiging iritable ang isang tao kung ni-cut sya sa kalye at ngangaratan nya yung nag cut sa kanya.

    The reason behind this is because the delay of reaction caused by the person's enclosure (which is yung kotse) deter us from experiencing the universal human emotion that connects us as one. Hindi ba pag sinabing "One" may unity?=) And unity equates love. And love is forgiving.=)

    Ganun din ang nangyayari when it comes to communication. Iba pag kita mo sa harap mo yung kausap mo at nababasa mo yung reaction sa face nya. Kasi, facial expressions pa lang, nagkakaintindihan na kayo. Compared to txt messages or email messages na hindi mo kita yung kausap mo. Kaya nga naimbento ng tao yung mga emoticons tulad ng :) ;) :D etc. These icons help us to express ourselves and our emotions in a better way. Kasi may parehong salita na pwedeng magkaiba ang interpretation ng bumabasa.
    Example ulit:
    1)Gago ka talaga!
    2) Gago ka talaga!=)
    3)Gago ka talaga!=(

    Diba iba-iba ang dating?=)

    Kaya ako, I make it a point na may emoticons yung mga sulat ko kasi it clears our intentions.

    Mabuhay po kayo KU!=)

    -Jack

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:36 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • Ku,

    Musta na po? Aba ok nga yang crusade mo. Sali ako diyan. Though, I must say, nasa stage pa talaga ako ng mainitin ang ulo ko. Pero I was reading din another email from a friend about making choices. The email says, in life we have two choices, to smile or not to smile.

    Kaya, I will always try to put that in mind.

    SMILE!!!

    By Blogger Helltracker, at 3:37 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • ps...

    may blog na po ako KU!=) at lalagyan ko na rin ng VFS logo.

    regards,
    -Jack

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:39 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger PeaceCrusader, at 3:48 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • atoy,
    ano yon? tumirik yung kay tanggerz? ano ba ang tumirik? yun bang espada niya? =)

    jack,
    ayaw mo pang i-reveal ang blog mo ha? shy ka pa? that's okay. pero nakikita ko magaling kang sumulat. it's a good point about emoticons. malaki nga ang naitutulong. i remember nung di pa uso ang emoticons, LOL ang madalas gamitin. problema lang hindi lahat alam ang ibig sabihin ng LOL kaya kung minsan imbes na isipin na nagbibiro ang sumulat, akala tuloy nagmumura.
    when you're ready, i-reveal mo ang site mo para mapasyalan.

    HT,
    maganda yung sinabi mo "to smile or not to smile". madaling tandaan.
    :)

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 3:57 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • Tulad ng nasabi ko sa isa kong entry na pag nasakatan ka physically, yung sakit sandali lang lilipas din agad at kadalasan peklat ang naiiwan. pero pag nasaktan tayo verbally, ang puso na ang nasususugatan. And how do we heal a bleeding/broken heart?, pupunta ba tayo sa doktor? sa albularyo? Tanging pag-ibig lang ang makagagaling nito, kung wala tayong pag-ibig hindi natin kayang mapatawad ang taong nakasakit sa atin.
    tama ka na God gave us free will, we have choices It’s either we let our emotions take control of us and we retaliate and hit-back or exercise self-control and do something that is non-violent and reconciliatory

    Nice post fafa..

    By Blogger KaDyo, at 5:44 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • Well said, Peace my friend

    By Blogger Rob, at 10:29 PM, September 13, 2005  

  • hi ka uro,

    i'm also one of your friendly visitor...

    galing ng "visitor friendly site".

    By Blogger JO, at 1:54 AM, September 14, 2005  

  • hello Ka Uro,

    Nilagyan ko na rin ng VFS logo yung site ko. Bilib tlaga ko sa'yo! :)

    By Blogger aucklandbabe, at 4:57 PM, September 14, 2005  

  • Maganda yang naisip ninyo Ka Uro. More power sa inyo!

    By Blogger nikki, at 3:18 AM, September 15, 2005  

  • well said Ka Uro. matagal na akong nagtataka sa yo, kalmado ka pa rin kahit sa oras ng balitaktakan, mga bagay na hindi ko kakayaning palampasin (kung sa akin nangyari) pinapalampas mo, mga bagay na kapaikon-pikon OK lang sa yo, yun pala ito ang iyong sinusunod na patakaran. nice to know may mga tao pang katulad mo! mabuhey!!

    By Blogger Rhada, at 5:28 AM, September 15, 2005  

  • robman,
    thanks

    jo,
    thank you. maglagay ka na rin ng vfs logo sa site mo. pero hintayin mo yung bagong design dahil alam ko di bagay yung green sa site mo.


    aucklandbabe,
    nakita ko nga sa site mo. bagay na bagay si smilee heart.

    rhada,
    minsan napipikon din ako pero nako-control ko pa naman. i get even by using reasoning ang kindness to convince anyone who hurt me their mistake.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 8:57 AM, September 15, 2005  

  • kadyo,
    i like this:
    "pero pag nasaktan tayo verbally, ang puso na ang nasususugatan. And how do we heal a bleeding/broken heart?... Tanging pag-ibig lang.."

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 8:58 AM, September 15, 2005  

  • Hi there! you are right.. it's all about choice.. whether to forgive and forget or make it worse.. however, it really takes a lot of mind-control to make it work... especially for people with fiery temper...

    By Blogger egoist, at 2:55 PM, September 16, 2005  

  • Kung me problema.. isigaw mo lang ito..

    JIHAAAAAAD !

    kusang mawawala yung problem mo .. promise.

    By Blogger Senorito<- Ako, at 7:21 PM, September 16, 2005  

  • Bow ako sa mga sinabi mo dito, Ka Uro. Great post!

    Like you I was a hot head when I was younger but now am matured enough to know better. Hindi ibig sabihin eh hindi ako nagagalit. Nagagalit pa rin pero at least ngayon alam ko na kung paano i-channel in a positive way yung galit ko. :)

    By Blogger celia kusinera, at 1:40 AM, October 29, 2005  

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