mGa KuRo-KuRo Ni Ka UrO

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Love and Hate

It is said “The opposite of love is not hate: it's indifference” and “It’s better to be hated than ignored”. I do believe in these sayings because I do believe it is easier to transform hate into love, but not so with indifference.

So when someone tells you “I hate you”, be grateful because he/she has bothered to hate you. He/She has put time and energy to express an emotion towards you. With their attention you now have a chance to turn hate into love. On the otherhand people who are indifferent towards you, don’t care about you. To them you are invisible. Without their attention, there is no chance to get their affection. It's as simple as that.

Hindi ba nakapagtataka na kung minsan ang nakakatuluyan ng isang tao, yun pang hate-na-hate nila nung high school o college? Sa mag-syota o mag-asawa, there are times na nagkakaaway kayo, di ba? During those times you feel na galit na galit kayo sa isa't isa. May ilang magkakaibigan na ang friendship nila started from a quarrel. Ang magkakapatid, ina o ama at anak nagtatampuhan yan at kung minsan hindi nag-uusap ng matagal. Tapos pag namatay o nawala ang magulang o anak, magsisisi ang kabila and only then they realize their pettiness and the fact that they really didn't hate each other. If you think about it, hate in these contexts is really a result of the need for love. You hate someone because they failed to manifest positive feelings towards you. In other words you hate them for not loving you. And this is not too bad because it only takes one party to stop hating and soon both starts loving.

Which is why when I know a person hates me and provided I don't feel the same way, I try to reciprocate with kindness and pray for their love. If this doesn't work I simply hope for them to continue hating me. That I can accept, but ignore me, I beg them, please not.

19 Comments:

  • this is a wonderful insight, Ka uro. it is only now that i realized it - hate can be turned into love. you are very right about indifference. very well said.

    i would never ignore a person like you, that's for sure, (balae he he)!

    By Blogger bing, at 2:03 PM, August 09, 2005  

  • Aba may karibal pala ang binata ko kay Fides mo. Mam Bing aka Juliet may the best balae win. Siguro ginalit mo muna misis mo para mapaibig sa 'yo KU. tapos iniwan mo Noong galit na siya sa yo lagi ka niyang naiisip bumalik ka kaya napasagot mo na siya. Ok may natutunan akong strategy. Hate can turn into love kanino kaya maimplement.

    By Blogger goyong, at 2:25 PM, August 09, 2005  

  • I think one of the reasons people hang on to their hates so much is because they feel, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.
    Nice piece ka uro, very well said.

    By Blogger KaDyo, at 4:41 PM, August 09, 2005  

  • Ang sarap magbasa ng mga entries na gaya nito - very positive. thanks for sharing

    By Blogger jinkee, at 7:23 PM, August 09, 2005  

  • correct ka jan KU.

    would you believe that one of my bestfriend/buddy and i started as enemies. We hate each other and we even had a big confrontation in the office before until one night-out (from office budget)that we talked and learned that we had so many things in common. kahit malayo na kami sa isa't isa, anjan pa din ang tawagan/email/chat. :)

    By Blogger Mmy-Lei, at 11:57 PM, August 09, 2005  

  • bing,
    thanks for not ignoring me, and neither woule i to you.

    goyong,
    papaano mo nalaman ang love story namin? tugmang-tugma ang sinabi mo. tunay na epektib strategy yan.

    kadyo,
    ang tindi at ang lalim ng insight mo. bilib ako sa yo. napag-isip mo na naman ako.

    jinkee,
    glad that the you appreciate my entry and imparted something positive on you.

    mommylei,
    totoong totoo nga. ako man yung best friend ko ng bata pa ako, nag-start yon sa suntukan. alam mo naman ang mga bata. tapos naging buddy-buddy kami at lumaki kaming very close.

    if we think about it, hindi lang sa personal na situations totoo ito. maging sa mga bansa. US-Japan halimbawa, di ba magka-away nung WW2. Ngayon magkaibigan. Eventually US-Iraq magiging matalik na magkaibigan din yan. Ang hindi ko na lang ma-predict ang Israel-Palestine. Super ang hate niyang dalawang yan. Bibilical times pa kaya di ko alam kung magkakabati yan.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 7:59 AM, August 10, 2005  

  • Hate is such a strong word, such a strong emotion. What leapt out from my mind is that whether in the every day hustle and bustle of our lives, would we want to impart some of those remaining energy to feel and dwell in that negative emotion. Di siguro. Pero nangyayari nga ano? Naisip ko rin, minsan siguro ay nagkakamali rin tayo sa pag-unawa sa ating sariling pakiramdam at emosyon.. akala ay ang isinisigaw ng damdamin ay hate (ano nga ba ito sa tagalog?), yun pala ay iba't ibang emosyon pala tulad ng galit, pagka-muyot, inis lamang ba, pagka-irita, at kung ano ano pa. Hay! Mas masarap kaya ang mag-mahal! =D Signing off... di ko naman blog ito, baka mapagalitan pa ako sa haba ng isinulat kong di ko naman alam kung may kahulugan. =D *toinks!*

    By Blogger Jovs, at 2:01 PM, August 10, 2005  

  • The more you hate, the more you love huh!??! Quite a very insightful one KU. This one rocks me!!

    Keep on keeping on!!!

    regards..--jun--

    By Blogger Flex J!, at 4:46 PM, August 10, 2005  

  • Very profound Ka Uro.

    Hate is not the absence of love. When you hate someone, that means you have been hurt in some way. Sa tingin ko, the only people who can really hurt you (at least emotionally)are the people that you care about somehow and in some way.

    By Blogger Bluegreen, at 5:42 PM, August 10, 2005  

  • Communication is a very vital tool in expressing our emotions. What we impart to others is very important in order for them to know what we feel inside. When someone hates us,the person can show it in many hurtful ways but at least, there was an effort to reach out to us. I totally agree that it could be painful but nothing could be more hurtful than NOT being told of why that person despised us. I have heard of similar situations when a friend or the spouse walks away and the other person never knew why. If only we can be honest to how we feel, I don't think there would ever be a reason for anyone not to understand it. Or at least, we have done our part and sooner the other person will realize our message.

    Cheers. Regards.

    By Anonymous Mystica, at 11:08 PM, August 10, 2005  

  • Hate is a negative word but you are right KU that when someone tells you that he hates you, then you can follow it up with THANK YOU. It's not being sarcastic though ironic but often when we hate someone, what we really mean is we love him. Hindi tayo magsasayang ng panahong mangunsumi ng sarili natin if that person is not important to us. It means that we are worthy of that person's time and that could speak for itself di ba?

    By Anonymous DABU, at 11:13 PM, August 10, 2005  

  • so pano ba toh?? i hate u na ulit! ajehjeh =)

    By Blogger Naomi, at 12:08 AM, August 11, 2005  

  • hindi ko pa yata naramdaman ang hate. nayamot na ako. naasar! nabuwisit!! talagang nabuwisit!!! pero nasuklam o napootan sa kapwa? hindi pa. i love to upak them nga eh. that's taglish for babatuhin na kita ng sapatos buset. biro lang po. peace!!! "love is all you need", sabi nga ni pareng john.

    By Blogger cabosan, at 8:50 AM, August 11, 2005  

  • jovs,
    oo nga ano, hate is a very strong word. most of the time hindi naman talaga hate ang na-fe-feel natin. tama, mas masaral pa rin ang mag-mahal.


    bluegreen,
    bakit nga ba ganon ano? it's the people we care about that could hurt us.


    mystica,
    galing ng mga sinabi. exactly what i wanted to say pero mas maganda ang pagka-english mo. mas mahirap talaga ang silent-treatment. dapat talaga start mo na ang blog mo.


    dabu,
    galing naman ni dabu. thanks for the comments.


    nao,
    no don't hate me yet. hindi pa kami nakakapasyal sa inyo e. pasyal muna kami diyan sa toronto.


    freeway,
    sabagay, ako man hindi ko pa naramdaman ang hate. sabi nga ni jovs very strong word ang hate. most of the time asar lang.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 11:37 AM, August 11, 2005  

  • Ka Uro,
    Salamat sa iyong message. Mahirap nga ang silent treatment kaya mas masakit pag feeling mo ni hindi ka nag-eexist. Kaya nga pag ganito ang trato sa akin, ay naku sasabihin ko sa taong yon na " Pwede ba magsalita ka naman kahit sigawan mo ako pero yung hindi ka iimik ay huwag mong gagawin." Talagang feel mo ang suklam sa iyo pag ganito eh. Buti pang sabunutin na lang ako.

    By Anonymous Andrea, at 11:02 PM, August 11, 2005  

  • Ka Uro,
    Beauty kasi masyado ang dalaga mo, mana siyempre sa mommy and daddy niya kaya tuloy masyadong maraming fans. Nadadaig ka na tuloy sa iyong column.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:07 PM, August 11, 2005  

  • KU, if I may give my two cents..sometimes it is rather better to ignore someone (if hatred is involved which is normally the case)

    nagkakasala ka kasi dahil sa hatred, while kung totally ignore na lang, at least malaki chance na nabubura ang una.

    By Anonymous thess, at 10:20 PM, August 12, 2005  

  • andrea,
    pareho tayo ng feeling. lalo pag galit sa akin si esmi at binigyan ako ng "silent treatment".

    thess,
    true. nothing annoys your enemies more than being if ignored.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 8:53 AM, August 15, 2005  

  • hi ka uro! talagang nakakagaan sa loob mga sinusulat mo...nakakarelate ako, minsan maluha luha pa akich (charing!)i wish ganun ka open mind ko hehehe...by the way KU baka may pwede kang ipakilalang fafa sa akin- wa broken hearted ako e hehehe- im 29 years old, single and available hehehe...email mo naman sa akin bwyfed@yahoo.com- promise mabait ako hehehe

    By Blogger _leslie_, at 5:50 PM, June 25, 2006  

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