mGa KuRo-KuRo Ni Ka UrO

Saturday, July 01, 2006

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins - Benjamin Franklin

Note: This is my reply to Randy's email which I posted in my previous post.

Randy,

Sana maunawaan mo na magusot ang pumasok sa ugnayang iniisip mo. Ano’t anuman ang mangyari tiyak na may masasaktan. Mahal mo man siya, subali’t may asawa na siyang nagmamahal din sa kanya. Tanungin mo ang iyong sarili kung tunay na pagmamahal nga ba ang nararamdaman mo para sa kanya. Ang tunay na pagmamahal ay mapag-bigay, may pang-unawa at higit sa lahat hindi makasarili.

A story in the Bible comes to mind. May dalawang babae ang nag-aagawan sa isang sanggol. Sabi nung isa, baby niya yung sanggol. Sabi naman nung isa, kanya yon. So lumapit sila kay Haring Solomon para siya ang humatol sa kaso. Sabi ni Solomon, kumuha ng tabak at hatiin ang bata sa dalawa para ito’y paghatian. Pagkarinig nito, sabi nung tunay na ina, “Hindi ko po siya anak, ibigay niyo na lang sa kanya, huwag niyo lang patayin.”. Then Solomon knew who the real mother is because of the way she loved the baby.

Not only is this story applicable to a mother and her child. It is also applicable to a man and a woman. Like in Solomon’s story, the person with the greater love, is the one more willing to give up the child. So if you really love this woman, give her up. Stop her from being any more close to you. Put distance between you and her, for she already belongs to someone else. Making her love you the same way she loves her husband is like cutting her into two. It will destroy her and in the end neither you nor her husband gains anything from it. So don't ask her for something she can't give or for something both of you may later regret.

So my dear friend, think of what you are getting into. Love and passion can be easily confused. Raw passion is a very powerful emotion. Like rain water gone wild and uncontrolled it can turn itself into a torrent wave that wrecks havoc to eveything in its path. Please don’t let that happen. Avoid putting yourself in a situation when that could happen. Avoid being alone with her. It’s not too late yet to rectify the situation. Don’t make the situation any worse than what it already is. For once it gets to a point of no return, then it’s like a dam bursting in the open. The damage becomes permanent and disastrous to everyone.

Sometimes we think that life is cruel. Na para bang napaglalaruan tayo ng mga circumstances beyond our control and we feel powerless. But are we really? Wala ba talaga tayong magagawa sa sitwasyon? You seem like an intelligent and decent person who knows right from wrong. Just that now you’re being carried away by passion. I pray that with God’s grace you find the strength to choose the right decision.

14 Comments:

  • Well said KU!!!

    To randy, i hope this will help you - Golden Rule or Karma exist!

    By Blogger Mmy-Lei, at 7:11 PM, July 01, 2006  

  • ang galing mong magadvice Ka Uro...alam ko na kung sino lalapitan ko next time :)

    By Blogger jairam, at 1:36 AM, July 02, 2006  

  • thank you for reminding us about that baby story in the bible. that was a great love story- champion counselor ka- magkano charge mo? biro lang.
    randy- hayan- well said ni ka-uro. the sooner you take action the better. it's really up to you- its your life- ka-is only here to advise take it or leave it but choose one that will make you happy. can't have your cake and eat it too my dear boy. good luck

    By Blogger VICKY, at 8:27 AM, July 02, 2006  

  • solomon was, indirectly, a product of an indecent relationship between his parents, david and bathsheba. when david saw her, he sent for her and they slept together, even if she was at that time married to uriah. david had uriah killed in battle and as "karma" to what he did, God punished both him and Bathsheba when the product of their 'affair" died. after david repented, God gave him Solomon.

    so what's the relevance? just that nothing good comes out of having an extramarital affair, walang lihim na di nabubunyag, at wala ring kabutihan ang naidudulot ng isang taong 'family wrecker.'

    By Anonymous pao, at 12:47 PM, July 02, 2006  

  • actually, there is a very thin line between love and lust. the intensity of lust is always mistaken as love because love also gives that intense feeling. the only difference is when lust is exhausted, wala na rin ang magandang feeling. love always give that good feeling kahit malayo sa isa't isa. am not saying you give in to lust to know if it's love or lust. what i say is, the feeling could've been mistaken as love even if it is not.

    By Anonymous bingskee, at 7:00 PM, July 02, 2006  

  • Hope Randy have collected his thoughts, before it leads to something that everyone might not approved, Sana ay harapin niya ito ng buong tapang at talino. If he has so much love to give,if he feels this is really LOVE then letting go will be that easy. let the girl alone and find PEACE and LOVE with he's husband. Mas lalong magiging buo ang iyong pagkatao kung meron kang PEACE OF MIND. Go boy enjoy LIFE.

    By Anonymous anonymous - ana l, at 3:58 PM, July 03, 2006  

  • A very well-written advice, Ka Uro. Yes, we are human beings and human as we are - we have weaknessess. Kaya lang, in this case I think it's an excuse na lang if he will still pursue with the wrong relationship. In his writing, he seemed to be a very intelligent person and it should not stop him from making the right decision. He ought to know also na he is not the only one entitled to happiness. The consequential damage resulting to such unwise decision will not only be carried by him but by the other persons involved. Keep good advises coming.

    By Anonymous angie, at 10:59 PM, July 03, 2006  

  • mmy,
    thanks for reminding us the golden rule and karma. naniniwala talaga ako diyan.

    jairam,
    ok lang lapitan mo ako for advice. libre naman yon eh. huwag ka lang uutang. Heheheh

    vicky,
    yes that's correct randy, it's up to you to heed my advice as well as everyone who commented here or not. sabi ni vicky, huwag ka raw kumaain ng cake, nakakataba yon. hmmm, layo yata ah. hahaha

    pao,
    thanks for the bible lesson. di ko alam yon ah. it shows na marami talagang mapupulot na magandang aral sa biblia.

    bingskee,
    very good explanation about lust and love. so ayan randy, kung pagnanasa lang ang nararamdaman mo, lust lang yan.

    ana l,
    thanks for the advice to randy.


    angie,
    good point about randy not being the only one entitled to happiness and about the consequences of an unwise decision.

    By Blogger Ka Uro, at 10:44 AM, July 04, 2006  

  • Ang galing nman ng advice mo... mas magaling pa kesa sayo.. hehe! naku ang gulo ko! hehe

    By Blogger tutubing_karayom, at 12:01 AM, July 05, 2006  

  • na-touch naman ako dun sa two mothers and a child. tho i already know the story, reading it again now that im a mom myself, i can so relate sa situation.

    nice advice as usual ;)

    By Blogger Analyse, at 5:39 AM, July 05, 2006  

  • Hi tito KU. Well said!

    Randy, try reading the book by M. Scott Peck. It will help you assess your feelings/emotions and also help you grow spiritually & emotionally. Hang in there!

    By Anonymous trotskybee, at 7:50 AM, July 05, 2006  

  • ang galing ng mga payo grabe! wa ako ma-say!

    By Blogger idealpinkrose, at 1:03 PM, July 05, 2006  

  • My advice to Randy is really simple.
    I am old enough to think with my head on top rather than my other head.
    If you use your top head, then you can think clear rather than using the one below which is cloudy (hope you get the point).
    I guess what i am trying to convey here is that, you(Randy) can rationalize and point out the good's and bad's in this relationship if you use your top head.
    Even if there are lots of goods with the relationship, moving away is the best solution. It will hurt so much (oh, believe me...), but you can move forward with your life knowing that you did not destroy a family and so does she.

    Ang iyong kuya Eddie... heheheh

    By Blogger Huseng Busabos, at 4:33 AM, July 06, 2006  

  • AMEN!

    By Blogger Ka Elyong, at 4:19 AM, July 18, 2006  

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